Commercials I Hate!

Commercials I Hate: Life Alert

2009-02-24T15:31:00.000-08:00

The List of Advertising Offenses

2009-01-26T05:36:00.000-08:00

An oldie from 1998.

Here at Commercials I Hate, we have astutely noticed that America's most hated commercials have many factors in common.
With this in mind, we have compiled a checklist of crimes committed in advertisements that we call
The List of Advertising Offenses

Spouse hiding the product in purse
Husband has a terrible cough and has been hacking loudly through dinner.
He uses his own cough drops, but continues to bark like a dying seal.
ONLY THEN does the wife reveal HER cough drops,
which have been cleverly hidden in her purse the whole time.
What the hell was she waiting for?

I have never understood why commercials show spouses
using competing products, as if they have a bet or something.

#72, the Numbered Series
Usually shown as two 15-second clips back to back.
The first one is number 34 in a series of helpful tips.
The next commercial is number 18.
What's up with the random numbers in random order?
It's not as if there are REALLY 34 commercials and you've only seen these two.
There are always just two.
Ad execs only think this is a good idea because they saw someone else do it.
It's a cop-out and we can tell.

Not showing the product
You'd think it would be obvious.
The television has a screen for viewing things.
Why not show your product?

Not saying what the product is or does
Another brain-stumping error in the world of TV advertising.
Most common with medication
(you'd think it's an important detail, knowing what the medicine is for).

Liquid pouring and splashing up into the air
This is shown most often in commercials for cereal,
where the milk pours into the cereal from a stupefying height,
cresting and splashing up and out of the bowl.

This is also shown in ads for Kool-Aid and Nestea.
This is supposed to represent what exactly?
Who pours liquid from way up high and splashes it everywhere?

They also do this in commercials for liquid bleach!
Who would be so careless with liquid bleach?

Car spinning out of control
The commercial is for a car, and they ALWAYS show the car fish-tailing to a screeching halt.

This is supposed to demonstrate what exactly?
I suppose this stunt is to appeal to my alpha-male side.
Yeah, give me a car that spins. Preferrably spraying a fine mist from a wet road, or spewing dust in a giant cloud as I rip through the desert, destroying my clear-coat.

You know what? I just don't get it.
When you see a car spinning like that on the real road, you know someone is about to die, and that car is about to become a Coke can.

Totally unreal situations
These ads show people in situations they would never really be in,
like two grown women grocery shopping together with one cart,
or a girls soccer team eating cheerios
with bowls and spoons on the soccer field.
I saw an ad where a guy eats cereal at an outdoor cafe,
with the cereal box on the table.
People eat cereal at home and that's it.
Nobody goes out and pays to eat cereal in a cafe.
And on the soccer field? Give me a break!
I'd like to see an ad that shows single people eating right over the sink.
Now that's a real situation.

Michael Jordan
Here is a man who can play basketball,
but who absolutely can not talk.
It amazes me that MCI, a communications company,
used a spokesperson who can barely communicate.
You can barely understand the man.
He slurs his words together like a drunk stockbroker
or a teenage girl smacking on bubblegum.
Or maybe he still has hot dog bun stuck to the roof of his mouth
from that delicious Ball Park hot dog!

If someone was paying me millions of dollars to say something asinine like,
"Now I can talk with all my space jam buddies",
I would make damn sure that what I said clearly sounded like
"Now I can talk with all my space jam buddies".
What did they do, shoot one take and go home?

In recent years it seems Nike, Hanes and others have gotten the message.
Nowadays the Michael Jordan of commercials only stands there silently, makes a face, or shoots hoops.

People using the word "brand" in casual conversation
Prime example is the newly revised,
"I am stuck on Band-Aid BRAND, 'cause Band-Aid's stuck on me"

And who could forget the natural-sounding delivery of...
"New Lean Pockets! From Hot Pockets BRAND!"

People do not use the word BRAND when speaking about
or requesting a product. It doesn't happen.

The Interview
This is when the ordinary Joe/ headache sufferer/ dentist's wife
responds as if being interviewed, and they NEVER EVER
look in the direction of the camera.

The camera keeps switching angles for no reason-
she's talking to the left, she's talking to the right,
You want to yell "Hey! Over here, Sugar!"

People finishing each other's sentences
Here we show people from all walks of life,
each speaking a fragment of a sentence,
edited together into a big annoying mess.

The worst part comes at the end, when each person in turn says the last part of the sentence. We get to hear the same three or four words spoken by 5 or 6 people. Somebody somewhere thought this was cute.
I'd like to put cactus quills in that guy's scrambled eggs.

The Stupid Man
I know why they do it.

They do it because the woman is the consumer of the household.

But men make buying decisions too, ya know.
And we don't LIKE to see ourselves portrayed as glazed-eyed, mouth-ajar helpless MORONS.

Daddy can't cook. Daddy can't clean. Daddy can't discipline the child.
Daddy can't control himself in Circuit City.
Daddy runs in circles holding a baby at arm's length.
He has absolutely no idea what it is or why it makes that noise.
Daddy takes the kids to McDonalds because Mom's Not Home.

And the single woman watching at home laughs heartily "Ha! It's so true!"

Actor tries to sound unrehearsed
This is when the actor goes "uh.." and hesitates and talks all slow, in order to sound more natural.
All this does is piss me off. I'm like "SPIT IT OUT!"

It's really lame actually. It doesn't sound more natural,
it just sounds like the person can't remember what they were just talking about.

"Simply the Best"
The commercial uses the Tina Turner song "Simply the Best."
A brilliant song, using the innovative rhyme,
"You're the best / better than the rest",
Tina Turner's dopey "Simply the Best" has been used by
cruise lines and roofers alike, all claiming to be the best.
Give it a rest.

SHOUTING AT ME
Shouting at me doesn't inspire me to do business with you.
People talking like the product description
My favorite example is V8 Splash, where the Mom says,
"My guy loves his V8 Splash Fruit Juice Drink."
The Posthumous Endorsement
It should be illegal to use Marylin Monroe to sell Tommy perfume,
Fred Astaire to sell vacuums, and Steve McQueen to sell khakis.
The Blue Liquid
The ad is for pads or tampons or diapers
or any product that absorbs pee, and they prove the product's
spongeworthiness by pouring blue liquid on it.

Bastardization of a popular song
This is when they take a popular song and CHANGE THE LYRICS so the song is about the product.

Remember "Toyota's Hot Hot Hot" and Budget Gourmet's "Things That Make You Go Mmmm" ?

This is not the same as when they use a song you used to love, and play it until you hate it - like what Cadillac did to Led Zeppelin (as if any Cadillac driver can STAND Led Zeppelin). Now I have to skip past the song when I pop in the cd because I've gotten so sick of hearing it.

Person who Doesn't Get It
These commercials feature some thick-headed guy who just doesn't get it.
Even though someone is talking right to his face,
the guy can't hear or can't understand,
leaving their exasperated friend to repeatedly shout,
"It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno" or "AFLAC"

I should point out that repeatedly shouting ANYTHING within a 30-second period
is a great way to annoy people really quick.

Commercial is an Old Navy commercial
Even if they started making good commercials, we would still hate them.

We would hate them for what they've done to us.

We would hate them for the big-glasses lady
and for Magic the dog and for the TV rerun parodies
and for Lisa Ling and Morgan Fairchild and for the guy
who can only be known as The Old Navy Guy.
Annoying, annoying annoying.

Anti-Piracy Ads on DVDs

2009-01-25T12:32:00.000-08:00

ADVERTISING OFFENSE: Nabisco "Tip #94"

2009-01-25T11:20:00.000-08:00

I picked up a 100-calorie pack of "Oreos" in someone's kitchen today
(Oreos in quotes because these are thin chocolate cookies with no filling and not even shaped like Oreos)

and on the pack it says
100 Healthy Living Tips"
Tip # 94
Treat yourself to dessert - sensibly.
Balance out your favorite treats with fruits and vegetables throughout the day to keep your diet on track.
For more of the 100 Healthy Living Tips, Please visit www.NabiscoWorld.com/100caloriepacks

Of course, to be a dick about it, I went to the website and there's no 100 Healthy Living Tips.

A Google search of "Nabisco 100 Healthy Living Tips" revealed a message board where some ladies
were going to post all of the 100 tips they found on their 100-calorie cookie packs.

Guess what the first one was? #94, posted above.
In fact two ladies found this one. Hmm, surprise.
In fact only three unique tips were discovered and posted by these ladies.

Interestingly enough, my Google search also turned up a page on the website for NBC's The Biggest Loser
where there is in fact a Nabisco-sponsored list of 100 Healthy Living Tips.
And #94 is, like on the cookie bag, Treat Yourself to Dessert.

Healthy Living, here I come!

Topic: New CIH Flair on Facebook

2008-08-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

If you're on Facebook, be sure and ADD "Commercials I Hate" as one of your Pages!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Commercials-I-Hate/13876314165

And if you have the Pieces of Flair application for Facebook (highly recommended!!!!!)
You can add these new "Commercials I Hate" Pieces of Flair!

Repeat Offender: Wayne Wilderson

2008-08-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

Meet Wayne Wilderson.

He's teaching a group of kids about the Chevy Tahoe.

He's the friendly Washington Mutual banker who is so embarrassed by that flock of old "white man" bankers.

Want to rent a car from Avis, he's your man.

Popeye's Fried Chicken? He's done it.

And the Fruit of the Loom guys? He's the grape.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think I may have found the only black man in America.

What if the ad agencies couldn't find Wayne?
There could possibly be no black people in commercials that day.

I believe Wayne actually inherited the role of "the only black guy in every commercial on TV"
from this man, Thom Barry, who has since graduated to the cast of Cold Case.

I am tired of ASKING. "Are you in line?"

2008-05-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, people. We've been doing this since we were four years old.
It's time to learn HOW to STAND in line.
Nobody likes to stand in line. I'm not asking you to like it. Just do it.

Please. If there are people in line when you arrive, please take a moment to notice what direction the line is pointing in.
Now stand behind the last person in line. No, no, no, wait. Not over there. Come back over here. Thaaat's right.
You want to position yourself so that the person in front of you is between you and the person in front of them.

See? Now you're in a line. You're not standing three feet away and off to one side.
No one needs to ask you if you're in line. You are a living breathing part of the line. Isn't that better?

Okay now wait a moment. I can see you're excited about finally being a part of the line. But hey - not so close!
The person in front of you doesn't need to feel the twin blasts of breath from your nostrils on the back of their neck.
They also do not need to feel the cold metallic kiss of the buckle on your purse or belt. Back off a little bit.

Hey, not so far! You only need to back off a little. Now there's room for one or two more people in front of you.
Everyone will ask you if you're in line or not! Don't you want to be a part of the line?
Step forward, so that you are 12 to 18 inches from the person in front of you.
And here's the key - when the person in front of you steps forward - you step forward, too.

Who are these morons that leave all the space in the line? Scoot up!
Please don't make me ask if you're in line or not. Just get in the fucking line. Please.

The RIAA and Illegal Downloading

2008-04-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

Every day on the news, the RIAA is going ape shit over file-sharing services ruining their business. People can download music for free, says the RIAA, and those are people who aren't buying cd's in the store.
I'd like to point out that the Public Library System has been in place forever. Anyone who wants to read the latest bestseller can get it for free at the library, where it is then passed on to another reader. There's two readers that didn't buy the book. And I don't hear the publishing industry raising hell over it.
People still buy books, and publishers still get paid.
Writers don't drive Bentleys upholstered with Burberry fabric. I didn't see Chuck Palahniuk on MTV Cribs. Recording artists are paid exorbitant sums.
How dare the RIAA even imply that file sharing is taking food out of anyone's mouth! It's so stupid and transparent, it's making my head hurt.

To the tiny woman in the Cadillac Escalade who nearly ran me onto the shoulder this morning.

2008-04-16T11:29:00.000-07:00

Excuse me. This is a merging lane and I'm attempting to merge onto the freeway now. It's clearly my turn. I'm not sure why you keep scooting up. Where do you expect me to go? It's supposed to be like a zipper, lady. One car from your lane, then one car from mine. We merge and then we go about our business. Zzzz-zip. Hey, what are you doing? Please stop inching forward. Hey. Hey. Okay, please listen to my horn now for the next fifteen seconds. You like that? I'd like to now direct your attention to my hoisted middle finger. Yes, that's right, apply your brakes now. Oh, you can see me now! I understand. You forget to look down here sometimes. And now I can see you. Hair-do, knuckles and steering wheel. Nice death machine you have there. How many people are in there with you? None? Really? What the fuck are you driving that thing for? You don't even know how to control it. You can't see a car right next to you. You are a danger to yourself and everyone on the road. Why are you driving that outrageous monstrosity? You look like a tiny white termite in a gorilla's nostril. Now you must know what your own tiny brain feels like rattling around inside your head. What are you, hauling construction beams in that thing? What do you need it for? Wait, I know. It's to feed your idiot greed and lust for stupid expensive sh*t. Well, we're all very impressed here on the 101 Freeway. Oh, I can't see you in my rearview mirror anymore. You're a little speck back there. Gosh, you drive so slowly when traffic is moving, I wonder why you were in such a hurry when the traffic was stopped? Maybe you're on the phone now and can't be bothered to step on the gas. If only the people behind you could see the 50 feet of empty road in front of you. I bet they'd like to be driving on it. Well, this has been fun. I'll leave you behind for now. See you tomorrow!

The Baby Bulldozer

2005-09-21T05:27:00.000-07:00

As my girlfriend and I squeezed past 250 of Hollywood's Slowest People this weekend at the Grove, I remarked, "SUV's aren't enough anymore. Now they have to have SUV's for their babies."

It's horrifyingly true. No longer limited to the look-at-my-big-rock newly married sandal-wearing white yuppie couple, the giant navy blue Baby Shopping Cart phenomenon now crosses racial and economic borders. Armenians, Persians, Hispanics, Asians, Blacks, all of them with baby carriers wider than the escalator and taller than their oldest child.

Clogging up the paths of shoppers everywhere, these plastic monstrosities often contain piles of shopping bags, purses, grocery bags, extra sandals, sunscreen, diapers, and no baby whatsoever.

The Baby Bulldozer is a total nuisance. There's no way around it, over it, or through it, and the oncoming parent inevitably steers it directly toward your feet.

Fuck that shit.
I told my girlfriend if I have a baby I'm carrying it in a backpack.
I'll stay the fuck out of everybody's way if they stay out of mine.

You. With the overflowing pillow-top hooded navy blue segway-wheeled double-decker 4-foot-wide plastic Baby Escalade. Why don't you just carry your baby in your huge giant purse instead of putting purse and baby inside that obese excuse for a stroller? Or why don't you just stay home?

your website....

2004-12-22T08:12:00.000-08:00

is HILARIOUS!!! absolutely love it, absolutely can't stand all of these commercials!! can i put a link to your site on mine? mine is just a website showing my art... but i do have a links page with some random things i like on there. it is www.denisekoleda.com. keep up the good work and i definitely plan on posting on the blog sometime soon!! (the one thing i can't stand right now is the hot twenty-something wife/ balding fat guy husband couple epidemic on tv.... ugh!

denise koleda

Bad commercials

2004-12-16T21:47:00.000-08:00

Nathan:
I haven't hit the website for a while so forgive me if these are old news but there are currently two more commercials on the air that really make me want to run out screaming in the night.

1) Charmin Bathroom Tissue: This is one where an older bear is lecturing, in song no less, a younger bear about not using too much toilet tissue. As bad and corny as that is, it proceeds to show the younger bear hunker down and lean against a tree, tissue in hand, apparently to take a dump. Answers the old question though.

2) Cinamon Toast Crunch Cereal: Husband and wife at breakfast table. He is doing a (bad) Barry White imitation, extoling the virtues of the cereal. It goes on and on. Shows the wife eating. Eventually we get to hear my favorite anachronism . . . the record needle scratch, whereupon the wife tells the husband to "Zip It". Rude, stupid, tasteless and IRRITATING.

Dishonorable mention.
Tampax Pearl Tampons: Girl uses tampon to plug hole in bottom of leaky canoe. AARRRrrrGGGHhhhhh. Makes it even worse if you think of the "little boat" analogy. . . They couldn't have done that intentionally, could they? Naaaaaa

I'd say, keep on plugging, but somewhow that now seems kind of crude.

so,
Best Regards,
Randy Kimball
Sandy, Utah

Commercials I hate

2004-12-15T20:11:00.000-08:00

I hate the Intel Centrino commercials that feature the Blue Man Group..... beyond stupid.

Steve Lewis

Jeep Painting Class

2004-12-14T01:03:00.000-08:00

Hi Nathan--

I came across your website while doing research for an ad critique I happen to be doing about a commercial you happened to write about -- the Jeep Painting Class. My critique of the commercial is very similar to yours, so it was nice to know I wasn't the only one annoyed with it. However, in writing the critique, I need to provide a quite detailed description of the ad. As luck would have it, as soon as I actually want to watch the commercial in more detail, I cannot find it anywhere. Since you have pictures of the ad posted on your site, I was wondering if you have access to the ad or maybe if you know where I could find it.

Thanks
Melissa

ad story that pissed me off...

2004-12-07T20:58:00.000-08:00

I found your website-laughed my ass off. Her is a sample of
my hatred towards the corporate world of ads:

I bought a Powerade drink one day and it happened that they
were runnig a contest to win prizes and cash. I opened it
and the lid said something like: You Have Won!-go to
powerade.com -enter the prize number below and claim your
prize! I go to the site and go thru 6-7 pages of disclaimers
& crap asking for personal info like address, email, phone,
etc-takes about ten minutes as thier site was running slow
and when I finally get to my prize-what did I WIN?

A FUCKING POWERADE SCREEN SAVER!

Another fucking scam to add all your personal info to
millions of useless mailing lists.

I have vowed to die of thirst before buying a powerade drink
again.

Keep up the site
Thanks
Ron

hillarious!

2004-12-07T13:26:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon your website, and I’ve been reading it for the past 40 minutes (boss is out of town). It’s ridiculously funny! I was surprised though, not to find the semi new McDonalds “I’m loving it” commercials. Awful! Keep up the amazing work!

Melissa Schwartz

Jos. A. Bank commercial

2004-12-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

Nathan,

Is anything more ridiculous than a commercial that does not make sense? I'm talking about a commercial for Jos. A. Bank Clothiers that has been running on cable news shows such as CNN and FOX since Nov. 3. In it, a smarmy guy wearing upscale clothing is depicted in several different types of scenarios, with a voice-over by a Michael York sound-alike (may even be him) pronouncing a single word for each scene, apparently in an attempt to describe both the situation and the clothing. The different scenarios are, for example, helping his daughter with homework, leading a boardroom meeting, on a date with his wife, etc. I don't remember all the words, or even all the scenes, but the one that doesn't make sense is where he is helping his daughter with her homework, and the voice says, "urgency."

In all the other scenes, the spoken word coincides with the scene and makes sense. But, urgency? It's so ridiculous that I cringe every time it comes on. Please review and list this advertisement so those yokels know what a poor excuse for an advertisement they have foisted on us!

John

2004-11-30T20:36:00.000-08:00

Dude,

Thank you for this website. I was googling around trying to find a decent forum to at least hear other people rant about the stupid advertisements that so often make my blood boil (the current ones being the jolly old batch of holiday commercials with the absolute worst renditions of the same shitty holiday songs we’ve come to hate from previous years). Have a merry Christmas and keep up the good work.

Regards,
Nate O’Brien

Nathan great website

2004-11-17T05:18:00.000-08:00

Hi:
Just stumbled across commericials I Hate.com and really enjoyed your writing, and I must say I agree with almost all of your opinions. I have spent the last couple of hours just reading all of your reviews and links....good stuff. I particularly liked the response to the F-16 guys email. Very well done.

I must say this......
That fucking Lamisil commerical is the sickest thing ever. Glad to hear I was not the only one disgusted by that one. At least now I know how it starts and can usually change the channel before the most grusome parts. Who buys that shit anyway.

So, Nathan. Good luck with the career, and maybe they can just come up with a TV Game show based on your web site and make you rich. Then you could do some promo commericals for the show which will surely get annoying to us quickly and we can write a website about how we hate the commercials for Nathan the Host of commercials I Hate "The Gameshow". Anyway, you are a great writer and very entertaining. Best of Luck.

Dan Ferguson
House of Blues
New Orleans, LA

sugar, sugar, sugar...

2004-11-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

Don't forget Sugar Smacks! I don't know what they are called now.

Dan Reddy

wellpatch comm.

2004-11-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

Alright, so my wife comes back home from the gym, and tells me about this wellpatch commercial and how stupid it is. I reply with "there are a ton of dumbass spots".... She laughs and makes me watch the TV for 3 days before I finally saw it..... This has to be STUPIDEST fucking spot ever put on the air.

Have you ever seen it, and what are your thoughts?

Dan in Vegas.

hate it

2004-11-09T06:57:00.000-08:00

Dude
I don't have a web site but since you do this has to be one you can use.
"trust the midas touch" they're all annoying but the new one with the stenographer who survived Treblinka is a new low. Have you seen it? It plays in the northeast. sorry i couldn't include a copy

Kevin

Mercedes Benz

2004-11-08T23:56:00.000-08:00

Please add the Mercedes commercial when the husband is late for a plane and his asshole wife drives like a maniac to catch the plane, then once there, he realizes that their at the wrong airport. It is a stupid, stupid, stress making commercial.

by the way, all my friends hate lamisil's commercial and makes them sick. It didn't bother me.

Skank

Great site

2004-11-08T21:27:00.000-08:00

Nice work Nathan, I truly enjoy your site.

What’s the lastest on that thing with Melissa? You’ve got a soap opera/serial drama on your hands!

Regards,
Cliff Tendler
Vice President, Programming Sales and Marketing
CNBC Arabiya
Dubai

annoying ads

2004-11-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Nathan,

Let me start by saying, excellent web site, very creative and informative. Now my purpose in writing to you is because I am currently doing a University project in which I have to find an ad (TV, magazine, paper or internet) that I find to be offensive, irritating or ineffective. I have to support my claim explainning why I find the ad offensive, irritating or ineffective and what can be done to improve it.

Basically I have to wite a formal business report, 8-10 pages long addressed to the CEO of the company trying to convince him/her to remove or change the ad (and in what way).

I found lots of ads, but didn't find anytihng to write much about, or simply didn't find any demonstration. I searched, for instance, for a clip of the Skittles commercial in which the Grand-Parents of a kid sits with him and eats Skittles and the kids Grandma starts rapping in front of the kid and then reveals her cheat (shocking the kid). This would go under offensive and defaming the elderlies. It can also go as innefective because, I mean... does that ad make you wanna buy some Skittles? This commercial would be GOLD for my project. I can easily run a sample survey on that one.

Of course, from my personal point of view, I really, REALLY hate McDonald's "I'm lovin' it" ads, the Mazda's gay "Zoom Zooms" and mostly, the "It's not delivery, it's DeGiorgo (or Delicio or whatever)" I won't even begin to talk about how much I hate that last one. But I would need hard evidence to back up my claims if you know what I mean...

Anywho, bottom line: Could you help m find an .mpg file of the Skittles ad and/or pictures to demonstrate? I am getting short on time so please reply as soon as possible. I'd really appreciate it.

Thank You,

Nizar

Good site

2004-10-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

Dude, your site rock! You won't believe how many times I wanna smashed the TV with my hockey stick everytime some annoying TV ads aired. Some of them are just that annoying it makes me swear I won't touch or buy their products, ever! For example the recent Verizon wireless commercial which shows this dad happily informed his 2 daughters that he has set up a wireless plan for the family so that they can talk more to each other. And what were the daughters' reaction? They looked at this dad as if he's some kind of child molester or something. Then this bitch mom told them that they can talk more to their friends too and suddenly they were happy and starts hugging each other. Dad tried to join the group hugging and what were their response? They ignore him completely. WTF!?? Seriously WTF is this ads trying to show!?? Kids shouldn't get along with their parents? All dads are scum of the earth child molesters? I'm glad there's a website like yours to skewer all these annoying ads. One more thing, why don't you create an award for the most annoying ads every year? We got the Razzie awards for the worst movies, so we definitely gonna need similar awards for the worst ads every year.

Mr. Burn

Oddly enough, your Mom

2004-10-22T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Nathan,

I happened to meet your Mom this morning. Unable to avoid hearing my outspoken and snarky comments about the the "red carpet" celebrity photos in People, she suggested that I check out your web site. She thought I might like your site (this was after I apologized for my outspoken snarkiness but announced that I had no intention of stopping). I checked it out this afternoon.

I like it -- it made me laugh out loud and I've been so sick that precious little makes me laugh out loud these days. Thanks.

And call your Mom, she's a nice lady.

Claire Kimball

2004-10-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

You haven’t mentioned the Rastafarian elephants trying to sell Skippy peanut butter. I don’t know which is worse – rasta elephants or the goddam song they sing that gets stuck in your head

Scott Ulibarri

Hey there nice site

2004-10-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

Just stopped by your site.

I got a good laugh when I read your comments to the "Lamisil" and the "Mazda - Zoom Zoom Zoom" commercials.

We have those commercials in the Danish TV too .. And I absolutely HATE THEM!

Man that "zum zum" sound pisses me off! And that Toe-protection-product-something commercial is disgusting.

Anyway keep up the good work!

KJones

AOL Commercial

2004-10-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hi,

The first time I saw that AOL commercial, I turned to my girlfriend and said, "America Online: Are you stupider than a baby?" Pretty insulting to their customers I thought..

Good call on "select". I'd just been accepting it as a noun. Damn them.

Respek,

-_Scott

Hey I like your site

2004-10-04T12:33:00.000-07:00

Ours is www.lostandfrowned.com

Pat freestone hates some of the same stuff you do.
( as does any sane person, of course)

Rock on

cathy

McDonalds ad for new McNuggets, etc, "stay away from my..."

2004-09-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

Hi Nathan,

I just have to tell you I hate the new ad campaign for McDonalds period. But I hate the 2 commercials that have 1) a guy at the office near the photo copy machine eating McDonalds food saying "Stay away from my ...I don't know, McNuggets or what, but first of all, there's no body around you and no one is going after your food. I hate everything about it. 2) the girl with the ugly clothes and hat on (are they trying to be hip for the late 20 to 30 something? - find a better outfit, you're NOT HIP) saying, "stay away from my ... bla bla bla food, I can't remember what specific food they are promoting, but they are trying too hard to be hip and cool and are sooooo not! Their voices bug me, their commercial lines bug me.... and they are ALONE!...saying "stay away from my Mcnuggest" or whatever, NO ONE is around YOU that you have to stay away from, but I ABSOLUTELY CAN'T STAND IT! I complained to my husband about it when I first saw them and continue to see them. I always wanted to be in advertising and unfortunately never pursued my dream. I always analyze commercials and HATE these new McDonalds ads, even the slogan "I'm loving it". Do you know what advertising agency created these bogus ads??? I think I could do a much better job. I know they are trying to break out of the kids commercials and focus on the gen X crowd + or -, but they are certainly not winning me over. Am I just crazy or do you have an opinion about these 2 commercials I am referring to?

I read about you in the Boston Globe and cut it out saying "OH MY GOD", someone I can complain to other than my husband. ... Good job coming up with this idea for bad commercials.

How has this (your web site) impacted any ad agencies and their clients thus far?

Sincerely,

Jody Bowen

Marshfield, MA

ps: I feel so much better getting this off my chest!

mood change

2004-09-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

Nathan, I was in a bad mood today, then I found your website. I laughed until I cried. Imagine a giant fat slob sitting at his desk laughing, with tears mixing with the hostess dingdong crumbs on his chest, and you've lived a virtual version of my morning.

great job.

Great site

2004-09-28T08:15:00.000-07:00

Nathan,

My wife sent me the link to your site because I am constantly complaining
about how atrocious most commercials are. My friends can't understand how I
can get so bent out of shape over bad commercials. I'm glad that I've
finally found kindred spirits. I've really enjoyed reading your site and
seeing that other people out there feel like I do.

The series of commercials I was really surprised not to find on the site
(though they were mentioned in the forum) are the McDonald's Chicken Selects
commercials featuring apparently undiagnosed schizophrenics defending their
$3 pieces of chicken against imaginary assailants. What exactly is
McDonald's trying to portray in these ads? "Eating our new Chicken Selects
will drive you insane, causing you to act like a delusional maniac at home
or work!" Not exactly the strongest selling point I've ever heard. Perhaps
these ads are so bad they are better to just ignore. Unfortunately I've been
unable to let them go, and want to throw the actors in them off of highway
overpasses.

Keep up the great work on your site! In some small way, it will make it
easier for me to bear watching hideous commercials now that I know there are
others out there suffering along with me.

Sincerely,

Beau Blackwell

I love your site.

2004-09-27T17:02:00.000-07:00

This place rules. I have to makes something clear. That disgusting toenail lamisil commercial is back after being canceled. I saw it yesterday!

--
--MIKE--

Medication ads

2004-09-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

Love the site. Found it today and went through it all. Hilarious. FYI on the medication ads. There's a law that prevents companies from saying what their product does (ie: treats allergies, arthritis, etc.) if they don't also say what the side effects are. So most companies choose not to list the side effects, hence you never know what the medication is used to treat...unless you go to the doctor and ask.

-chris

love your website

2004-09-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

that's all I have to say right now

JGunkler

Great website

2004-09-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

Nathan, saw a mention about your website in a suburban Boston newspaper, picking it up from the story Bob Mims of the Salt Lake Tribune wrote. Great site, and I’ve sent the URL on to others who agree many of these commercials are really offensive and most just plain dumb. Keep up the good work, and hopefully this current wave of publicity will get you tens of thousands of new hits to the site.

William R. Sell

(no subject)

2004-09-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I think you do very well at keeping gatorade on their toes. I thought the mention of green fecal matter was hilarious. I wouldn't think a sport's drink would have that affect on the bowels, but they seem to put everything shy of the kitchen sink into edible and drinkable products anymore.

I've noticed the big craze with kids these days is shockingly sour candy and gummy things. I was a hyperactive kid,and would have been bouncing off the walls if i ate this kind of stuff back then. I think this might be the reason so many kids have attention deficit disorder etc....

Scott.

You're Awesome.

2004-09-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

Hey man! I heard about your site yesterday while
reading the St. Pete Times and I've been laughing my
ass off ever since! It's hours of entertainment and I
just wanted to say thanks for making such a funny site
and keep it up!

~Jennifer

FOLGERS COMMERCIALS SUCK!!!

2004-09-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

Hey Nathan,
I just read about your site in the St. Petersburg
Times, and I must remind you of those sappy FOLGERS
commericals that started in the 1970's. UGGHH! I
can't' STAND them, and I can't believe you'd leave
them out!!

Name Withheld by Request,
Until further notice.

WHY?????????

2004-09-08T15:35:00.000-07:00

Is it really necessary to have a website dedicated to commercials you hate? What's the rationale? Is it another case of someone, meaning you, that's well educated, in a good paying position, with nothing to do? When I grow up I want to be just like you! You can post at my website http://brothaluv.blogspot.com.

Ric Evans

Have you seen this?

2004-09-05T18:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't see this commercial on your list, so I thought I would mention it; it's the one where the man and woman are eating something that requires BBQ sauce, the man gets a little glob of it on the corner of his mouth and then the woman scoops it off his face with her index finger, stuffs her finger in her mouth and licks (maybe sucks is the word?)

The delicious globoid of BBQ sauce from her finger. (I hope I've told this accurately...if I haven't, I apologize). At any rate, it makes me want to lose my dinner, lunch, breakfast, dinner, lunch, breakfast....for the previous week.

Your website is great and your comments are very funny, very "right on" if you will. And no, I am NOT a stalker!!

Peggy

More Dentyne Ice

2004-09-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

Nathan-

Being that your site is so incredibly comprehensive, I hope you don’t find it presumptuous to make a suggestion for an additional Dentyne Ice ad. The current commercial that bothers me most is “Dentyne Ice – Subway.”

The girl makes eye contact will random co-subway rider, breathes absolute zero air on the subway window, and then writes a seven digit phone number on the glass. The male recipient of is most fortunate event just can’t seem to find a pen & paper to write down the number, and boy is he disappointed. Then the camera pans out, and about 5 other dudes are rapidly writing down her digits. Why can’t the idiot who she wants to give it to just REMEMBER THE DAMN 7 DIGIT NUMBER?

Thanks for letting me get that out.

Eric

Dreamweavercatcher

2004-09-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

It's an amazing society in which we live when someone can criticise someone else for carrying on a "fun" website that was started during their younger years. More power to you Nathan, more to the point Mr or Mrs Dreamgoober I notice that when you find something that you do not like on TV you have the good sense to turn over, I am amazed that this good sense has not carried over to your internet viewing where there is almost an infinite number of other channels for you to peruse. Alternatively you could go out and do some more "cool shit" that you have talked about and earn some more bragging rights. Whilst I understand the need to teach people to defend your nation, I would not describe it as cool shit as inevitably some of them will be killed doing it, necessary yes, cool no. I am not from the US but currently reside here and find the majority of people polite and friendly, thankfully I have not yet run into a bigotted twat like yourself. Regards...

pootle pootle

Obnoxious TV Ads and Other Probs

2004-09-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathan;

Watching TV whether on Cable or Network the same obnoxious ads appear more often than Jay Leno's political trash. Ford Motor Company has the worst ads ever devised. The latest ad repeated since June, A Focus and a Dell has me sick enough. Then there exists the Focus ad showing the pathetic toy car parked at a curb with a voice-over saying "You might as well put me on cinderblocks, THAT'S FOCUS ABUSE, FOCUS ABUSE!"

To add insult to injury, Ford hammers one of my email Inboxes with their despicable promos insisting I purchase their damn Focus, Explorer or worse yet thei Expedition. I would feel safer running across an Interstate than drive their worthless gas guzzling vehicles. Are those idiots so clueless they believe their obnoxious ads encourage buyers to frequent their showrooms? Think again Bill Ford.

Then there is the horrible furnture company ads (such as Illinois-based Darvin, Walter E. Smythe, etc. attempting to sell their overpriced hideous furniture selections absent thoughts of rejecting buyers due to poor advertising effectiveness.

McDonalds uses rap which I totallydespise only their food makes it more palable than Burger King ever could be. Nothing worse than gaggling on stale, overcooked fast food that six malts could not wash down.

One other sector of ads are those produced by sadistic lawyers feeding on the misery of others pitting themselves as Public saviours Hell bent on picking up the proverbial pieces after an accident, excessive debt, personal injury, and other tragic occurences. Hey people know what they need therefore remove those parasites from TV screens.

Drug ads are the worst of all commercials being allowed on TV networks where Pharmaceutical corporations such as Pfizer, Glaxo-Welcome, and the like have the 'magic' cure / treatments for everything from nail infections (Lamisil) to Herpes outbreaks (Valtrex). The Public visit their doctors for specific treatments they need not be instructed. There is ads for: Zoloft, Paxil, Singular, Viagra of all things, Elidel for treating exyma and related skin ailments, each with horrid side-effects that are far worse than the condition being treated.

Films to burn: Farenheit 9/11, Mean Girls, Final Destination 2, 2 Fast 2 Furious, 8 Mile, I-Robot, Predator vs Alien, all media & products involving Mary-Kate and Ashley especially New York Minute.and the most obnoxious film made, Freddy Got Fingered.

One final note, Michael Moore is the epitome of a Marxist asshole posing as an artificial American and NEVER expect ANYONE to apologizing for speaking the cold truth concerning the John Kerry bed partner, just keep it off camera copish? And enough with the yammering over Al Gore's alleged loss to Dubya, Gore walks strange due to his lack of a spine. A protologist recently performed surgery on Al Gore and found his damn head. Jay Leno has a lot of nerve constantly trashing Floridians for their alleged failure to vote Al Gore into the White House, yeah right like airheads even possess an intellect beyond common barn mice. GET OVER IT LENO for that matter lose the asshole band leader Kevin Eubanks! His insidious crocodile laughter almost makes Ford's worthless Focus and A Dell ads tolerable.

I am only getting warmed up for this where things stand for now.

Thank You For Listening,

Jay R

fun with ranting

2004-09-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

Nathan,

I have spent the last two days perusing your website with schoolgirl excitement. I have come to the sad conclusion that I am far behind the cyber curve on this one. How has this site been out there in the world wide web for so long while I have been in total ignorance of it? I have been idly watching Homestar Runner and feeling like a know-it-all. I am sickened by it. Anyway, your unabashed ranting and dismay at the true state of so much advertising today made me laugh until it hurt. I told about 40 people (this includes my college advertising class) about your website in a 24 hour period. What can I say? My infatuation with you has grown to a feverish pitch in mere hours.

Holly E. Pituch

Great site!

2004-09-01T10:54:00.000-07:00

Hi Nathan,

A few years ago I saw a drug commercial that didn't
explain what the drug was for. I thought, "Huh,
that's a pretty stupid way to advertise a product" and
dismissed it from my mind.

Then I saw another. And another. And another! In
fact, I saw so many of the little suckers that I
thought I must have missed something in Broadcasting
School. Like the class where they explain why this IS
a good idea!

Since nobody I mentioned these ads to understood my
complaint, naturally, I was ecstatic when I found your
website and realized that I wasn't missing something!
The ads really are that stupid!

Keep up the good work!

Cheers!
Nancy

Comments on Gatorade Frost

2004-09-01T10:38:00.004-07:00

I would just like to say that you are my hero. For years I have wondered what I have been drinking in my Glacier Freeze but only last night did I find the energy to actually look for it and I thank you for providing me with this information. I have to say I was a little surprised that Glacier Freeze is equivocated to strawberry (for some reason I was thinking along the lines of raspberry), but whatever. Your documentation of your search for the flavor was much appreciated and it was funny as all hell, too. So just, thanks. Have a great day. :)

~Carolyn Nairn

Hey, Nathan...

2004-08-31T19:51:00.000-07:00

Hey, it's Lacy again. I'm not even sure if you get this e-mail or anything, because some of the dates on what was posted on your site are from like '03, but I just came across it just a few days ago, and had to e-mail you. I finally looked through your whole site, and I love it! I really do. It's so hilarious because everything is so true! I can't tell you how much I hate that damn Smart and Final commercial. Every time that would come on, I honestly feel like throwing the remote through the t.v.! I feel good knowing that someone else out there hates the same things I do; I know it's not just me. Everyone tells me how much I complain about these stupid commercials, but I just can't keep my mouth shut about them. The annoying jingles. The stupid catch phrases. They have to stop! I just can't get over why people make commercials so annoying, and where the hell they get the ideas from. Have you seen the Skittles commercial where some guy is in a nest and is being fed Skittles by a bird? Why the f*ck can't he go the the freakin store and buy some instead of climbing a mountain?! Who the hell came up with that ad? It just makes me angry.

The other day, I was looking online where to complain about ads and commercials, and I couldn't find anything. I just can't tell you how sick I am of the car commercials. They just make me want to scream. I guess they don't want us, ( consumers ) to look deeper into these ads that are so dumbed down. I'm 17, but I can see through them. Like the Taco Bell ad with the Asian guy. I noticed the same thing. He didn't even say "I'm full!". And I hate the "Zoom Zoom" kid probably more than you ( lol ). And the Lamisil commercial; absolutely disgusting. I could never bear looking at the screen when it came on. These damn stupid commercials make me want to punch someone. How about the person who made the idea? haha

I also saw your hate mail. Those people are the stupid ones the commercials are made for. Who the hell can sit through these ads and say it doesn't bother them?! That they're funny? I guess you and I, Nate need to dumb down to their level and understand those idiots. ( Yeah right. ) I don't know how you can be so calm towards the hate mail, but you are awesome. I LOVE this site. It's one of the funniest I think I've ever been to. I cry laughing at some of the things you say because they're so true. You're like the male version of me! :) Too bad you don't live in Stockton ( ca ), because if you did, we could sit up and talk crap on commercials together. :)

Lacy,

text on site is invisible

2004-08-31T18:29:00.000-07:00

Hi Nathan. Great site. I wanted to give you a heads-up on a technical problem. A bunch of the site's text (including your comments) is invisible because its pages force a white background on the browser but do not always set the text color to black. When the text color is left undefined, the user's operating system will draw the text in the system-default text color. That color might be white, which creates white text against your white background.

I posted a screen shot of the problem at http://AmbitiousProductions.com/probs/commercialprob.gif.

To demonstrate the problem, go into the Windows Control Panel's Display / Appearance settings and select the "high contrast black" color scheme. It's not the most attractive (it's for people with impaired vision), but it'll illustrate the error if you visit your site.

If your pages are going to override users' color preferences, they need to override them completely (foreground AND background). There's no way to ensure that the color you picked for the background isn't the same as the color the user picked for text.

This problem is easy to fix. The site's pages or styles need to be corrected so they always set the text color to black.

Regards,
Gavin Stokes

I agree with your dislikes

2004-08-31T11:23:00.000-07:00

I really don't like the pizza bagel commercials. I remember when they used to have Hot Pockets commercials. The product tasted horrible. It makes you wonder if the American public has relised how bad already made fozen foods are. It's just gross.

Femenine hygine ones are just as bad. It's sterotypical to women in a way. Well for me it is. For example it shows that you can only use tampons if you're tall, slender and a perky popular jock. WTF? Seriously that's mostly all the girls they use. And from a friend who told me this. Girls should only wear tampons if they've been de-virignized already. Yes now we know...All I can say is rock on!n Your website gives a reason to us retarded commercial hating people to vent and speak our mind.

Hikaru

What is Going on with KFC's new ad camp?

2004-08-29T10:16:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the absolutely ridiculous new commercials from KFC...With the T-shirts emblazoned with slogans like..."Ain't afraid to be chicken!" WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING? or "Right wing, left wing, tastes the same to me!" As I am writing from my desk, I am cracking up at the inanity of it all. Chicken Capital USA?...I am actually speechless. Apparently there is a tour also coming to a "town near you!", with a HUGE BUCKET OF CHICKEN...I can't even believe it...I really can't. Chicken Capital USA?...What the f....

Elise Brita

Alice Cooper Staples Ad

2004-08-27T23:05:00.000-07:00

Actually, I think this ad is a real hoot!! I do have a problem with him correcting the little girl about the song's lyrics...the song actually says both "school's out for summer", AND "school's out forever"! It also says "school's been blown to pieces". Other than that, I love this ad!

Sheryl

Wasted days and wasted nights

2004-08-27T03:19:00.000-07:00

Nathan,

You really need to get a life. The amount of time you've wasted on your website is truly amazing. Take for example the following quote:

QUOTE

Chocolate Bar Ads

My current loathesome commercial is still any ad for a chocolate bar where they show this "naked" candy bar penis plunging into a wet chocolate vagina.
It's so disturbing I can't even tell you.

END QUOTE

Really now, you either have taken way too many psychotropic drugs in your day or your imagination is way beyond any normal human being. Perhaps a day job might suit you? Something that requires the full use of your faculties. Then again if you can "read" into an ad what you did for this one perhaps you should go work for the ad business and make commercials that you don't hate. As the old saying goes "They that can't - teach" but in your case I guess it should be "Those that can't - complain."

Matthew Arntzen
arntzen@post.com

Hello...

2004-08-27T00:31:00.000-07:00

I just came across this site and I have to say; this is one of the best sites I've come across in a while. It's hilarious because it's so true. I was looking online for somewhere to complain about commercials, ( I'm 17 and really opinionated! ) because like you, most commercials piss me off! It's great to see that someone agrees with me for a change. When I talk about commercials, people always tell me "you complain to much!" I always come back with "hey... I'm just speaking the truth." I think you make a lot of good points, and you know what, I don't want to sound weird or anything, but you're the male version of me! ( lol.) Don't worry, I'm not another Melissa. TTYL. e-mail me if ya want.

~Lace~

Nathan

2004-08-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

I just want to say that I LOVE your site.
I can't say how much it pleases me to
know that there are other people in the
world who despise annoying ads as much as I do.
You should e-mail some of the CEOs of some
of the agencies that do these ads and see if you
can't get some of these jack asses fired.
Also you should alert some of the
advertisers and send them petitions
about how shitty there ads are. Believe me
they'll listen. They spend thousands of dollars
to run focus groups so they can find out
what people think of their god awfull ads.
I'm an art director for an agency that does
terrible ads too. So I know how it goes.
People need to speak out against bad advertising.
Advertisers DO respond to public opinion.

-Big Foot

You rock!

2004-08-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathan,

Thanks for making me laugh today. My boss read your Gatorade diatribe to me yesterday and pointed me to your site. He actually suggested I check it out. Not only did I laugh, I got paid to do so.

I used to work for one of the largest infomercial companies. (Don't shoot me!) The only thing more amazing than the commercials was the millions of people who tuned into them. And the egos of the actors and actresses who were in them defied description. I could tell you Cher, Kathie Lee Gifford and Richard Simmons stories for days.

Well back to work, or reading over the internet that is :)

Happy Hating!
Tamme

P.S. The letter from a highly motivated, dedicated, never going to quit kicking ass, red-blooded American was quite fierce. Does this mean they still sell dream catchers in Texas or on some army base somewhere? It kind of makes you want to move to Europe. My theory is whenever someone tells you what they are in an indignant fashion, BEWARE! I live in Utah and whenever someone tells me what an honest ethical great Mormon they are, I know to hide my purse and exit the scene before I end up broke and joining a direct sales company.

comments

2004-08-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

Hi Nathan,

Just wanted to let you know that I love you website. I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Your comments about commercials/adds are hysterical, and totally true. I grew up in southern California and now I'm going to school in Miami Florida, and although hard to believe, I think Miami commercials are even worse then Los Angeles.

One in particular drives me nuts... its a commercial for "Checkers" a burger chain they don't have in CA (as far as I know) It shows a bunch of kids goofing off and eating burgers and the slogan is "You Gotta Eat". Wow! what genius figured that one out? Yes, I do have to consume food in order to live, that doesn't mean I have to eat your nasty crap!!!

Another one is for a furniture store... I think it's called City Furniture. They always show entire living room or dining room set outside with a beautifull setting behind it, which is particularly helpfull because I'm always shopping for a couch for my backyard.The spokeslady is also always sitting somewhere outside with a scene of a lake behind her. What the hell does that have to do with furniture?

Also, about the Gatorade thing... I have tried several of the new flavors with odd colors and names like Riptide Rush and found them disturbing. When I was in elementary school on career day my classmate's father who was a food flavoring chemist came in to speak to us. He said that those in his line of work had to be careful not to invent flavors that are unrecognizable to normal people because a product that a person could not identify with flavor-wise would be a huge flop. I guess Gatorade missed the memo. Well, that's all I have to say for now. Keep on with the fabulous add critiques.

-Lisa

record scratch

2004-08-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

Nathan,
Your website is inspired. I'm so glad I found it. It was
mentiioned in an article in the Salt Lake Tribune. Very entertaining.
The things that irritate you also irritate me.

Not having "tuned in" before, I don't know if the production
technique featuring a "record scratch" has been mentioned as an
irritation. As an indication of Whoa! Back Up! Hold On Here! the
sound effect of a record getting the hell scratched out of it is a
regular feature in numerous commercials. What are they thinking? Viewers
under the age of 35 or so most likely have never heard a record
scratch in any context other than Rap "music". A lot of kids have
never seen a vinyl LP, thinking music always came on CDs. It is a
complete anachronism making very little sense and to those of us
still possessing a cherished LP collection it makes us want to run
out screaming in the night. It would make as much sense and be no
more irritating to use the old tried and true fingernails-on-a-blackboard.

Regards,
Randy Kimball

Enzyte "Natural Male Enhancement"

2004-08-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

My current pet peeve is the grinning geek "Bob" on the Enzyte "Natural Male Enhancement" commercial. If i saw a man grinning like that, I would assume he'd just escaped from the local loony bin. -- Linda J. Hall, Taylorsville, UT

2004-08-25T08:23:00.000-07:00

Anonymous said...

This is the best site I've seen in a long time. I got the link, by the by, from a story in today's Salt Lake Tribune (not that I am anywhere near Salt Lake City).

I don't even watch television. I don't even own a television. I just get my thrills vicariously from my sister, a television fiend, and now, you. (I don't think TV is bad or anything; I just don't watch it.)

But awful commercials are everywhere. I listen to a news station (WTOP in Washington, DC) daily. I will never, never, never, never donate a car to Melwood, whoever they are. I am sick to death of their commercials where they read a heartwarming letter about some mentally ill relative, ending with "Thank you, Melwood." Then in the next segment, the announcer ALWAYS says "Letters like these mean the world to us." And then something to the effect of "But we really want you to donate money or tangible goods." So keep your crummy sentiments. Just send money.

They run those ads at least 20 times a day. I've started turning off the radio when these ads come on. And I donated my car to the Kidney Foundation.

Anyway, thanks for the yucks. I will be back.

Great site!

2004-08-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hi Nate,

I saw an article in our Salt Lake Trib about your site, and thought.."Damn!!!
Somebody best me to it!"

Thanks for your site, so's we can enjoy your efforts to not only expose pure
crap, but the a-holes behind them. I think it's great to name the "creative"
team behind the garbage that someone saw fit to pay good money for.

Cheers!

Mike Parr

Great Rant!

2004-08-24T15:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Nathan,

Absolutely loved your rant/letter to 60 minutes. Very well written. Too bad the stupid asswipes will ignore it. Also enjoyed the Post of the Week. God I hate when they portray every couple as being white trash or Dumb Daddy with the Supermom yuppie wife. Gag.

I'm tired of one of our local ones that is pushing Oshkosh for little ones. This stupid bitch going on about her 2 cutie pies, Isabel and "Hurricane" Henry. You hear Henry destroying the house in the background and her inane responses: "The vacuum cleaner isn't a toy sweetie, neither is kitty." Isn't he just soooo cute when he beats up on little sister and breaks the marble-topped table. Kee-rash. Puh-leeze. I'm glad Mooch is back. She was sorely missed.

denise :)

I love your site.

2004-08-18T18:03:00.000-07:00

Hey Nathan,

I like your site. It really protrays alot of commercials that are hated on television. Yeah...Old Navy still makes crappy commercials, but have you heard the crappy music they play? Not to mention that it's played at full blast so you have to practically yell at the employees for help.

I've also noticed that our media is still on mostly single ethnicity. I'm a Japanese born American and find it kind of annoying that most commercials on the Mainland show only caucaucian (sp?), and the very small amount of blacks, asian and hispanic people on tv. My mom said because not many asians are into the media business. But common, if our world had a more mixed ethnical commercials I think we'd see eye to eye, or probably sprout more prejudice or whatever.

Another commercial I hate is the Fanta soda commercial. Seriously who the hell wants to buy a soda with a comeon that if you drink it these hot, ditzy annoying girls will suddenly popup and dance with you? Gods has our media productionists sunk this low??? Haha...but you relise now that they haven't shown that damned commercial for along time. Before it used to be nearly every commercial break but now it's hardly shown.

Jcpennys ads are dumb, mainly because the stores where I live have all closed up! I don't give a damn if our tv is runned by Mainland time, it's just plain annoying.

I know I ment to say how I loved your site, but it ended up being on the commercials I hate, but I have one more I promise.

Well it's not really a commercial but just a theme based one...When ever the have themes based on Hawaiian Luaus. GOD IT'S SICKENING!!!!!! As a American born and raised in Hawaii I find these themes so freaken prejudice. I think it was the movie called North that was played on the Disney Channel...just watch and you'll understand.

My reason is that some people still think we live in grass huts on a sanded beach with only the size of a shopping mall. Plus when people come here they think all there is to see is that we all have luaus every night, wear only hawaiian printed clothes etc. That's not it. Hawaii has become a multi-cultural island where the food has been mixed by the many people who have lived here. But the one thing that hilarious is the coconut bras. My mom teaches Hawaiiana for her fourth grade class and she says that the hawaiians didn't wear coconut bras because it was a thing they ate, and i'd think it's be uncomfortable too. And the final thing that urks me is how some people on the Mainland see us as not part of the American culture. It's true ask around and some people will deny us being part of America.

Thanks for your time. Sorry again for a vent based letter. ^_^;

lianne maeda

Huggies Diapers

2004-08-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

There are perverts out there who kill our chidren & molest & who knows what hell they go through before they die, because of the damm ads. like the one where the baby is runing the fuck around nude. Why THE FUCK DON't they put it on the web. So the fucking pedifiles can see it then go kill some more fucking kids. Assholes. And go to they can go to the bathroom & fucking beat their fucking chicken from watching these baby butts ads. These asses of kids make me sick. who fucking wants to see that. It makes me sick to see that fucking shit. so whats UP?????????????????? TO WHOOOOOM IT MAY CONCERN.OR SOMETHING.

-Donnie

Just wanted to remind you...

2004-08-04T05:07:00.000-07:00

A visitor to your forum at http://www.voy.com/32053/ has contacted you.

Name: Serious User
Subject: Just wanted to remind you...
Message:

That you are an idiot with admin/moderator privelages. I bet your parents can't WAIT for you to move out you fucking dolt. I'm betting this moonlighting doesn't compare to the power you have at the drive thru window.

Just a weekly reminder that you're a loser.

Cheers!

- serioususer@msn.com

Oil of Olay Polygraph commercial

2004-07-31T14:08:00.000-07:00

I came across your site in an effort to find the agency and model/actress in this Oil of Olay commercial. I figured that you would have some sources who could find out this info for me.

I don't hate this commercial!

Thanks

Foolofmyself

blue Gatorade

2004-07-25T18:21:00.000-07:00

Nathan,

Upon researching "Gatorade ingredients list" I came upon your very interesting website.

My son's favorite beverage is the blue Gatorade (whatever flavor that is???)

I had recently read/heard somewhere that cobalt blue is a dangerous food/product additive.
I began to wonder where the "blue" came from for the blue Gatorade.
The label calls it "Blue 1", but does not mention cobalt.

In researching "Blue 1", I found one website that puts "Blue 1" into a category of "unsafe for anyone. . ." and it listed 6 countries which have BANNED it!
"Blue 1" is ALSO listed on my former liquid dishsoap (Dove??? Palmolive???) which I threw out. I had thought it curious that the blue gatorade EXACTLY matched the color of our dishsoap!!!!!

We Americans are so dumb for blindly accepting all the terrible additives put into our foods and products.

Kenda Sims

lol

2004-06-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

>Psychic Hotlines
>
>The lies about the free calls, the outrageous claims-
>Everyone hates these.
>One psychic line boasts 26 free minutes,
>while the print at the bottom of the screen reads
>that the first two minutes are free, maximum 13 calls.

i must say that being totally bored i tried it, they give you this bullshit "please wait while we connect your call" then you get the message about your 2 min being up & ask for billing info. hmm wonder why that wasnt in the fine print?

-Joshua Roark

I came across your website.....

2004-06-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

Nathan,

I found your website very amusing!

A group of friends and I were just talking last week about how much we HATE the Lamisil commercial. Could this commercial be anymore offensive! What loser approved this ad campaign.

A lot of your commentaries are right on the money.

You make me want to put my marketing degree to good use. I could come up with better ads than these knuckleheads.

Actually, after I finish writing you, I am going to blast my friend who is an ad exec at J Walter Thompson. She may not be responsible for all the horrible ads on air now, but she can receive my input about how her industry sucks right now, and what is she going to do about it!

I will visit your website again.

Peace,

Michele B.
Atlanta

commercials

2004-06-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathan:

I know how you feel. I hate alot of commercials,too.BUT-there are some that I just don't get your anger and sarcasm over.For instance,that one commercial about cable modem using that little boy. Where do you get this pedophile crap from? Besides,I have Cable Modem and I'm proud to be represented.Usually it's those with Dial-up who get all the attention-now it's my turn(and others like me)! How you can ASS-U-me that that's what really goes on behind that ad,I'll never know.Because it's SENSELESS! I know I get Angry over alot of commercials,but YOU need to GET A LIFE!

- Kevin Miller

would nathan sell out?

2004-06-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

what would you do if you were offered a ton of money to be a "dumb daddy" for a 60 second Lysol ad ?

Turn it down and let us know on the board ?

....... or take the fucking money and run, and screw all of us, and
go roll around in the dough ? ( ha ha ha...)

-drjimmy

Infojet weekly site : Commercial I Hate

2004-06-10T01:37:00.000-07:00

Hello Nathan

We are happy to inform you that this week your site has been chosen in our Latest News.

Take a look

Thank you

Infojet team

http://www.infojet.net

Saw you on VH1

2004-06-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

You're really cute.

Just thought I'd tell you that. ;o)

~John

Geico Commercial - Mr. Jiggy Fly

2004-05-01T23:50:00.000-07:00

My wife hates me walking around the house sing "Always use your manner when you're eatin' yo sloppy ja-hoe." My personal favorite commercial, and I would send the actor that played Mr. Jiggy Fly a Rum Cake if I had his address. It's been endless hours of laughter for me, but lots of people hate that commercial out right.... is it on your site?

Kevin

spent alot of time at your website

2004-04-30T00:45:00.000-07:00

O.K. I agree but how long has it been since you watched television. What about the singing blobs on the Quiznos ad. The gay guy on UPN at night "I work 40 hrs a week and I don't have time to meet cool guys" I'm not gay why should I have to watch this?

Now I address the phone whores, "call me now bla bla bla" i can jerk off without spending $5.00 a minute. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? They don't think we're stupid, they think we're retarded. Lastly, if I'm paying for dish or cable, why should I have to watch commercials in the first place. That's a free T.V. concept so the networks can stay in business. Wasn't the original concept of cable, many channels and no commercials because you the consumer are paying the network fees. Now I have to watch (stupid) commercials on a service I already pay for and then want even more for the Internet. How much can one piece of wire cost? (ads included). I guess I need my own web page because I am rambling and maybe these things don't make much sense to you, I have alot to say about ads but not much space.

I do like you web page and agree that advertisers have gone too far, keep up the good work and I hope you make the blinkerfluid list again. (thats how i found you)

thanks for your ear (eyes)

Fred Meyer

rants

2004-04-29T06:14:00.000-07:00

Hi,
I came accross your site whilst looking for hate groups (do you know how
many KKK groups are in your country?). I work in marketing and to a large
extent I agree that there is a lot of shit adverts but why not check out
what we are doing over here in england. We are really taking things a
step further. Our new project is called 'bodybillboard". You will have
the opportunity to put your company name onto prominent figures in chosen
sub-groups. For instance - you want to reach the fashionista - you can
put a tattoo of your logo on one of our human billboards who is embedded
in the group. We cover almost every age group and sub-culture except
under 16's but we are working on having kids tatooed abroad and bringing
them into the country because as we know, kids are always copying each
other and if one has a swoosh they will all want one! So now you see,
it's not all boring stuff -we can all have fun with marketing. If you
want to know more of what we do get in touch. I'm sure you'll be
converted!

Regards

David Rogerson
Rogerson and Pickering

Commercials I hate

2004-04-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

Nathan,

I found your website through an email newsletter called "The Mouthpiece". Just thought I'd drop you a line to let you know that I enjoyed it, as I've hated advertising for years. About the only commercial I actually like is a public service announcement that aired here in the "Inland Empire" a few years back that featured a fellow who was called Crack-head Bob, but I probably enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons.

I got fed up with the garbage on television last year, and turned my cable box in, so I don't watch television at all these days, but I do listen to radio, and one of the ads that irritates me the most is for the Inland Center Mall. It's a holiday ad, which is bad enough, but it also throws in the tired old "men are stupid" chestnut, it also implies that women, ALL women, want jewelry and the only way to get it from their lazy, stupid husbands is via deceit. Too bad radio spots are a local phenomenon, otherwise, you'd probably lambaste them as well.

Keep up the good work,

Rob

triscuit?

2004-04-27T15:33:00.000-07:00

yeah, about the triscuit commercial u hate... i have a full-sized oven in my dorm... altho it's not nearly as plush a room as that commercial.. it is pretty nice tho

- AFIFinchMan

Great site

2004-04-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

I came across your site today through a link in an e-mail someone sent me and I’ve just spent the best part of an hour going through it all – great stuff!!

Anyway, I came to the Gatorade flavour stuff, and at the end saw that you’ve finally “identified” the flavours used… Except… Alpine Snow is said to be citrus, while Whitewater Splash is lime. Does that mean that Alpine snow has every citrus fruit EXCEPT lime? What’s so special about lime that it gets a whole drink to itself? And who thinks that you can grow lemons, oranges etc. in the Alps, or strawberries in huge blocks of ice? I’m not suggesting, of course, that you could grow and harvest lemons in a raging river, but it’s closer to reality than growing berries in ice.

Just something for you to mull over.

Anyway, like I said, great site – just wish I’d come across it years before.

Mark

PS. What about Cool Original Doritos? Cool what? Are they suggesting that’s what coldness tastes like? You live in the US, so maybe you’re privy to the secret we in Europe can only dream about finding out!

commercialsihate.com

2004-04-27T12:36:00.000-07:00

Your web site is incredible..... All the things I have ever thought about dumb commercials actually written down!!
I killed at least an hour at work reading it. It makes me smile just thinking about it. *Sigh..... I love the internet.

New devoted fan,

Melissa

Daily Lesson for Web Idiots

2004-04-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

Thank you ! Thank you !

Add, youve got - I got - etc. to your list.

Most of the major advertising agencies, and news papers, must not have writers and proof readers, or (there) Editors can't read.

I am 75 years on this orb and I believe that this 25 year span has had the most illiterate mass of people I have had the opportunity to encounter.

An anecdote: 16 years past, I had a position of Sales Application Engineer for an Electronics firm. One of the younger sales persons was studying for his Masters, driving to a University 85 miles away , twice a week for classes.. He gave me a paper that he had written on a published Classic, by a well known author. He asked me to read and critique his paper. I was astounded! I asked him where he had found the material, in that book, that he had written about. I told him that the books meaning was not even close to what he had written. We discussed what he thought the book was about, and I asked him if he had a common dictionary at hand when he was reading. He said no, he never used a dictionary. I suggested that he reread the book with a dictionary at hand, and to look up every word that he that thought that he knew the meaning of. Two weeks later he told me I had completely destroyed his confidence in his self, but that he could now see why the book was on the Professors reading list.

The real pathetic irony of this narative is - His mother is a high school English teacher.

Thank you, again.

Darrell

note on one of your entries

2004-04-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

Just happened across your site and I say Kudos! Someone needs to show how stupid some commericals are!

One thing I saw I might comment on, however:

>Not saying what the product is or does
>
>Another brain-stumping error in the world of TV advertising.
>Most common with medication
>(you'd think it's an important detail, knowing what the medicine is for).

I have heard, though I am no lawyer and can't say for sure, that the real reason you so often see these medication commericals that do not clearly say what the product does is b/c there is some kind of Federal ruling that disallows these companies from doing just that for a specified amount of time. There is some kind of waiting period, that makes no sense to me, but when a company with a new drug is able to start advertising it but they can't actually say verbatim in the ad what it does. Don't ask me about the logic... I guess the drug companies found a loophole so they could at least get the name out there first. Then later they are able to show both the name and what it does. Go figure.

- Will Seay

listen to this

2004-04-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

I found your site and it only took 5 min before I was laughing non-stop. There are SOOOO many stupid commercials out there and there is one that I've seen repeatedly that has to be at least a Silver winner. I live in Utah so maybe you haven't seen it, but it's for Focus Factor. The commercial blabs on about how this "magic pill" will enhance your thinking process and make you remember things easier or some shit like that. But near the end the guy says "We're giving it away FREE, cause we know that once you try it, you'll want to buy it." Then they show some street interviews where this nasty lookin fat lady caps off the commercial with her line. "They're giving it away FREE? It must be good!" WHAT THE HELL? If they're giving it away for free it must be a piece of shit. Look at AOL for crying out loud. Thought you might've liked to hear about this one. Thanks for reading my letter (if you do)

Brian

2004-04-21T20:34:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to say I came across your website, and I have to tell you it is the funniest website I've come across in a long time. Thanks for making my day!

Stephanie Swindle

good for you!

2004-04-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

Hi Nathan, I couldn’t agree with you more on your response to “dreamweaver catcher”. Enough
Said, and I admire your column, along with learning much from it. Your column has helped
Me to recognize a lot of this hype that commercials attempt to drown us in. We’re not idiots…
Well at least most of us aren’t, and it gets tiring being treated as such.

Wendy in Wyoming

Thank you thank you thank you!

2004-04-19T00:51:00.000-07:00

Your site kicks ass! I luv u! Marry me? J/K I saw that part about no love slaves. I did want to say I agreed with you on every single one of those commercials! I hate them so much! Another one that always got me was a Mervyn's commercial with some lady with short red hair (I think it was red, and she might actually be a comedian)... it made me want to stomp my foot down her throat!!!!!!! Grrr!!! Sorry but it really got to me for some reason... maybe even more than those damned AT&T commercials with CarrotTop... Now there's annoying... but seriously u rock, and so does the website! Keep up the great work!

-Beachgir13

Daily Lesson for Web Idiots

2004-04-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

Nathan,

Today I 'stumbled' upon your web site and laughed until I cried at what I read--specifically the Daily lesson for web idiots. I am so sick of reading postings from people who don't seem to have any command of the english written language!! They must have slept through the first 6 years of elementary school to not have learned about contractions (you're vs. your and they're and their/there) and grammar and punctuation. God help us. How can they possibly operate in this world. I know!! Because no one calls them on it. Society just accepts (or excepts) their 'flaws'. Too bad they must think they're right (or write, or wright) and they must think we're (were) the dumb ones when they read (red) our messages (massages).

If you decide to reply, please don't be too (to, two) harsh. I cry easily.

- Linda McCray

Laughing my a** off!!!!!

2004-04-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Nathan -

I'm sure you've heard this hundreds of times, but I just had to say that you're funnier than hell!
I just about choked while laughing after reading the Gatorade "Bob & Ken" piece.
It's nice to know there are people out there who share my horror of pop culture advertising practices.
And I *heart* the Fab 5.

Barbara

Gotta love the hating

2004-03-27T19:16:00.000-08:00

Nathan,

Your website is hilarious. I, too, dearly hate bad, repetitive commercials. One I can relate to is the Lamicil ad. I have a fear for seeing what's under finger and toe nails, so this one simply brought me disturbing images of someone ripping off someone else's toe nail just for the fun of it. It's actually kind of funny.

Of course, I don't spend my time watching TV anymore. I only do so when I randomly walk by a TV and find a movie preview playing. Those things are the exact opposite of bad commercials. They're addicting (like the one for Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children).

Anyway, keep updating. I love your site.

~ Jay

suggestion

2004-03-27T15:59:00.000-08:00

I dont know if i can suggest a commercial, but how about the Arm and Hammer Commercials with Jason Giambi. He signs a bunch for baseballs for female fans who are standing IN THE LOCKER ROOM. After he finishes, he goes over to his deoderant, picks it up, and starts blabbing away. Then he returns to the same girls, and signs the same baseballs AGAIN. What the Heck!!

- yahoohas toomanyrules

Truckstops of the New South

2004-03-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

Hello Nathan,

I happened across your site last night, and had a pretty good laugh. I was especially surprised to see your rant on that old Dodge campaign. I happened to be at the time, an assistant audio engineer at a Detroit post house that mixed the bulk of those spots. The jingle was actually co-opted from the also stellar, "California's' Truck Spot". This also begat the jingle for the Texas Dodge Dealers. Nearly every day over the course of two and a half years, I was inflicted with these jingles. As you know, these days were of course FULL EIGHT HOUR ordeals, involving many, many :30's and :60's. The radio cut was especially painful, as it allowed the writer to really stretch out the lyrics, replete with a chanted section, listing the great things you could do, with a Dodge Ram's unmitigated power. How many times can you play a :30 second spot in eight hours? Be kind to the Audio folks you know, as they have a very special cross to carry. I often wondered what fresh hell was being released on the listening public of these regions, and if anyone even noticed, and now I know.

I still occasionally do the odd BBDO Dodge gig (now with the ponderous "hit it!" musical sting), but thankfully for me, the bulk of my work is a more varied cross section of feckless shit. Don't keep all your eggs in one basket, so to speak.

Respectfully keeping the Wheels of Commerce Turning,

M.D.M.

just a fan

2004-03-24T18:36:00.000-08:00

hi my name is Kyle Hanke (feel free to make fun of) and i just wanted to say that your insights on pop culture are 1 true and 2 funny. I hope T.V. keeps making stupid, politicly correct commercials so you could keep making fun of them

ps im 13 years old

Kyle Hanke

lol

2004-03-23T16:28:00.000-08:00

dude,
I came across your site by accident, and it is hilarious! I'm actually starting my own independent ad agency/so any advice or help you can offer would be greatly appreciated! you seem like a pretty smart guy.

thanks for the laughs,
jay

when pizza's on a bagel

2004-03-19T15:56:00.000-08:00

"When pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime."

It really should be:

"When pizza's on a small bagel, you can eat pizza anytime."

That means you can eat a small pizza bagel anytime, by placing it in your
pocket (or something similar), taking it out anytime, and eating it. I think
that's what it means...

- coolman262

the current commercials that suck

2004-03-18T18:54:00.000-08:00

Here are the annoying stupid commercials that suck balls:

1) The annoying half-assed rat with a guitar singing repulsive lyrics out of
his its ass, the screeching sound of it's voice...UGH!

2) They're coming, they're coming, Domino's shitty ass dots that give me the
urge to vomit are coming!

3) Hi, this is Bob, Bob is looking pretty bewildered today, that's because
recently he has been sniffing coke, I mean Enzyte, he has been taking Enzyte,
the once-a-day tablet for natural male enhancement. Really, his smile freaks me
out.

We need more decent commercials...

- coolman262

Commercials I hate

2004-03-08T12:16:00.000-08:00

I ran across your website while researching an assignment. I agree with most of what you had to say about the stupidity of television advertising. However, I was unable use most of it verbatim, or to print any of it for use as examples in class because of your deplorable language. You are obviously an intelligent
person. Unfortunately that fact is well hidden by the vulgar language and inability to express yourself in a tasteful and intelligent manner. Perhaps your views would be more readily accepted and broadcast if you worked a little harder to be less offensive. It’s too bad that your language rivals the tasteless adds your are criticizing!

I’m not trying to start anything…just wish I could have, in good conscience, referenced some of your work.

JC

you are wasting your time

2004-03-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

"buy stuff at the store" you're just another
commercial. oh, and stop being such a pussy, did u
really HAVE to include your picture? fu##'n metrosexual.

- Josh R.

j_zip_89@yahoo.com

Rant: Bush & Gay Marriage

2004-03-04T18:34:00.000-08:00

Dear Nathan:

I truly enjoy your website and your twisted look at today's advertising. But I want to congratulate you on your stand regarding President Bush and same-sex marriages. As a gay man (single and unattached) with a sister who's in a long-term lesbian relationship, I am also appalled by our alleged Commander-In-Chief deciding who should benefit and who should not. I'm also appalled that his vice president, who has a gay daughter, is backing down from his original stand that gay marriages is a state and NOT a federal issue.
What I do with my personal life is not any of Mr. Bush's business, as long as I obey the law, pay my taxes and contribute to society. And speaking of taxes, I do so every year. I DON'T pay taxes to a nation that discriminates or puts disadvantaged people in a box. I also don't pay taxes to a narrow-minded government that doesn't seem to realize that any particular religion is sanctioned by the state.
Am I voting for John Kerry? Damn straight (sorry)! I'm counting the days when intolerance and hatred will be gone from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,
Mike S.
Las Vegas, NV