I am tired of ASKING. "Are you in line?"

Okay, people. We've been doing this since we were four years old.
It's time to learn HOW to STAND in line.
Nobody likes to stand in line. I'm not asking you to like it. Just do it.

Please. If there are people in line when you arrive, please take a moment to notice what direction the line is pointing in.
Now stand behind the last person in line. No, no, no, wait. Not over there. Come back over here. Thaaat's right.
You want to position yourself so that the person in front of you is between you and the person in front of them.

See? Now you're in a line. You're not standing three feet away and off to one side.
No one needs to ask you if you're in line. You are a living breathing part of the line. Isn't that better?

Okay now wait a moment. I can see you're excited about finally being a part of the line. But hey - not so close!
The person in front of you doesn't need to feel the twin blasts of breath from your nostrils on the back of their neck.
They also do not need to feel the cold metallic kiss of the buckle on your purse or belt. Back off a little bit.

Hey, not so far! You only need to back off a little. Now there's room for one or two more people in front of you.
Everyone will ask you if you're in line or not! Don't you want to be a part of the line?
Step forward, so that you are 12 to 18 inches from the person in front of you.
And here's the key - when the person in front of you steps forward - you step forward, too.

Who are these morons that leave all the space in the line? Scoot up!
Please don't make me ask if you're in line or not. Just get in the fucking line. Please.