The Queen of Stupid

Nate's Note:
Before you read what this person wrote,
I feel it is necessary for you to visit their homepage,
so you can see what we're dealing with here.
Please try to contain yourself and check this out:
I swear this is the page the person left in the guestbook.

Date: Dec 20, 1998
From: princess_batgirl@hotmail.com

I feel that some of your opinions regarding commercials
are true, but most of them are FALSE, FALSE, FALSE!!! The one
I mostly agree with are the Psychic ones, but that's about it!
I think that for one, you are a very racist person. For example,
instead of "some fat black lady", why can't you just
say, "some fat lady" or not even that! Why can't you
just say "some lady"? You're disrespecting a woman
by saying that. Now, like I said before, I don't like those (fake)
psychic commercials either, but you don't see me going around
calling people by their color. Maybe if you had of addressed
her in a more appropriate manner. I mean, you could use the words,
"fat" and "black", but in a more nicer way.
The way you said it sounded upright disrespectful.

And as for other commercials, you have no taste. Some of the
commercials you said stink are really good or even kind of good.
You obviously don't have a sense of humor or else you'd think
they're good, too. You might as well put all of the commercials
down! To you, EVERY commercial in the world stinks.

How about this? - What if you were in one of those commercials?
And don't you DARE say you wouldn't be because if you know that
if there was enough money involved, you'd be there beggin' them
to put you in. The only reason you wouldn't want to take the
job is if you felt that the product didn't live up to it's slogan
or something.

Another thing is this: if you're a guy, you have NO right
to judge those feminine commercials unless you've actually tested
their product before. How do you know what's what? I can see
if you're comin' out of the closet or if you're a woman, but
if you're not - what are you talking about? AND what gives? If
you're a guy, it really doesn't matter what you think about pad
and tampax commercials......or does it?

Somethin' else: it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure
out some of those commercials you mentioned! For example, that
pizza bagel thing means that if pizza's in a smaller form, you
can always eat it instead of carrying around a big triangular
slice or something. But I wouldn't expect YOU to figure THAT
one out (duh!).

And when people say "Happy Holidays, THEY'RE TRYING TO
BE NICE! - something you should try often. Maybe they're not
talking about Hannukah or Kwanzaa, but AT LEAST THEY ARE WISHING
YOU HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! And how do you KNOW that they're not wishing
you something other than Christmas? Take another look.....Scrooge!

One last thing: there are a couple of commercials that you
didn't mention that do stink.

And how are you going to tell US what WE think?! Don't know
what I mean? What I mean is when you were talking about how NO
ONE likes some of the commercials you said! For example you said
something like, "I think I speak for everyone when I say
that this commercial is getting old..." or something like
that.

So, the next time you decide to judge a commercial, you should

1)Get someone else's opinion (other than yours)

2)Re-look the commercial to find out what 2+2 is.

Let's break this one down, shall we?

I feel that some of your opinions regarding commercials
are true, but most of them are FALSE, FALSE, FALSE!!!

Yeah, because opinions, by nature, are
either true or false.

The one I mostly agree with are the Psychic ones, but that's
about it! I think that for one, you are a very racist person.
For example, instead of "some fat black lady", why
can't you just say, "some fat lady" or not even that!
Why can't you just say "some lady"? You're disrespecting
a woman by saying that. Now, like I said before, I don't like
those (fake) psychic commercials either, but you don't see me
going around calling people by their color.

Christ, man, this is too much fun.
I'm disrespecting a woman by saying she's black?
There's nothing wrong with being black.
Sweetie, I believe the disrespect comes in at the word "fat".



Maybe if you had of addressed her in a more appropriate
manner. I mean, you could use the words, "fat" and
"black", but in a more nicer way.

Next time I should try to be more nicer.

The way you said it sounded upright disrespectful.

That's the way it sounded, huh? The way I said it.

And as for other commercials, you have no taste. Some of
the commercials you said stink are really good or even kind of
good. You obviously don't have a sense of humor or else you'd
think they're good, too. You might as well put all of the commercials
down! To you, EVERY commercial in the world stinks.

God damn, she's right! I have absolutely no sense of humor.
That's why the website isn't funny.

How about this? - What if you were in one of those commercials?
And don't you DARE say you wouldn't be because if you know that
if there was enough money involved, you'd be there beggin' them
to put you in. The only reason you wouldn't want to take the
job is if you felt that the product didn't live up to it's slogan
or something.

Honey, I think we know that if I was
in a commercial it wouldn't suck.

Another thing is this: if you're a guy, you have NO right
to judge those feminine commercials unless you've actually tested
their product before. How do you know what's what? I can see
if you're comin' out of the closet or if you're a woman, but
if you're not - what are you talking about? AND what gives? If
you're a guy, it really doesn't matter what you think about pad
and tampax commercials......or does it?

I can't judge a commercial until I've tested the product?
Why would I give my business to companies that annoy me?
I object to tampon commercials because I'm a man, not
in spite of that fact.
You're very clever with your "...or does it?"
Do you think gay men use tampons? Where would they go?
I suppose you enjoy tampon commercials.
You probably also enjoy Immature, twelve year-old boys
who sing about sex.

Somethin' else: it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure
out some of those commercials you mentioned! For example, that
pizza bagel thing means that if pizza's in a smaller form, you
can always eat it instead of carrying around a big triangular
slice or something. But I wouldn't expect YOU to figure THAT
one out (duh!).

"When pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime."

I still don't get it.

And when people say "Happy Holidays, THEY'RE TRYING
TO BE NICE! - something you should try often. Maybe they're not
talking about Hannukah or Kwanzaa, but AT LEAST THEY ARE WISHING
YOU HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! And how do you KNOW that they're not wishing
you something other than Christmas? Take another look.....Scrooge!

"Happy Holidays" is a euphemism for Merry Christmas.
It doesn't mean "Have a great holiday whatever religion you are."
It means "Merry Christmas and we'll say 'holiday' to calm down the Jews."
I don't have to look very hard to see a through a guy
in a Santa suit saying "Happy Holidays"
When Santa is lighting a menorah, then we're in business.

One last thing: there are a couple of commercials that
you didn't mention that do stink.

There a couple of people in China, too,
what's your point?

And how are you going to tell US what WE think?! Don't
know what I mean? What I mean is when you were talking about
how NO ONE likes some of the commercials you said! For example
you said something like, "I think I speak for everyone when
I say that this commercial is getting old..." or something
like that.

This website is still called "Commercials I Hate."
The "I" refers to me, Nathan Alexander.
This page is in no way meant to represent the iron law of the universe,
or the opinion of the Earth's population.

So, the next time you decide to judge a commercial, you should

1)Get someone else's opinion (other than yours)
2)Re-look the commercial to find out what 2+2 is.

It's always nice to get correspondence from
someone with a real command of the English language.
Please come back anytime.