Subject: gatorade
Date: Wed, 3 Apr 2002 21:38:04 EST
From: LAWENTERP@aol.com
To: nathan @ commercialsihate.com
The Alpine Snow frost was my favorite flavor and it was stopped
being made.
So I would really appreciate if you can please start making the
Alpine Snow
Frost thank you.
Subject: Re: gatorade
Date: Wed, 03 Apr 2002 19:57:38 +0000
From: Nathan Alexander <nathan @ commercialsihate.com>
To: LAWENTERP@aol.com
I'm pretty sure you know I don't work for Gatorade,
since I said all those nasty things about Gatorade on my website.
I'm afraid I don't have the capacity to start making Alpine Snow.
I can pee, but that's about the best I can do.
-Nathan Alexander
Commercials I Hate
Subject: Re: gatorade
Date: Thu, 4 Apr 2002 09:46:14 EST
From: LAWENTERP@aol.com
To: nathan @ commercialsihate.com
please please please start making Alpine Snow.
Subject: hi
Date: Sun, 7 Apr 2002 15:47:13 EDT
From: LAWENTERP@aol.com
To: nathan @ commercialsihate.com
make Alpine Snow for the US
Subject: Re: hi
Date: Mon, 08 Apr 2002 16:10:54 -0400
From: <nathan @ commercialsihate.com>
To: LAWENTERP@aol.com<
Perhaps I didn't make it clear enough
that I do not work for Gatorade
and have no affiliation with Gatorade whatsoever.
I have had absolutely no involvement in the decision to discontinue
the "Frost" Alpine Snow flavor, and I'm actually glad
about it because I think the flavor was a bonehead move in the
first place. I think we all know what snow tastes like, Alpine
or not. If I want a beverage that tastes like snow, I will drink
the Burbank tap water that comes out of my kitchen faucet. I
often do.
I'd also like to point out that Gatorade is absolutely loaded
with sodium, despite its vague claim of "Low Sodium"
on the label.
It's true that the sodium level is low compared to a
canister of table salt, but the sodium level in Gatorade is higher,
not lower than competing sports drinks like Powerade.
You would be much better off drinking water, which, as I have
already pointed out, tastes
exactly like snow. If you drink Evian you are actually drinking
melted Alpine snow straight from the fucking Alps.
If you are looking for a beverage comparable to the old Gatorade
Frost, I'd like to suggest Powerade's Arctic Shatter, a white
variety that tastes like the sugar-water kids feed to
caterpillars in an 8th grade Biology class.
If that's not close enough for you, why not take grapefruit
juice and dilute it 10:1 with soapy dishwater? That's what the
stuff always tasted like to me.
If you have any further concerns, I suggest you take it up
with the Gatorade people.
Thank you so much,
Nathan Alexander
Commercials I Hate
Subject: Re: hi
Date: Mon, 8 Apr 2002 21:19:38 EDT
From: LAWENTERP@aol.com
To: nathan @ commercialsihate.com
Do you know the email address for the Gatorade people.
Subject: Re: Re: hi
Date: Tue, 09 Apr 2002 13:29:05 -0400
From: <nathan @ commercialsihate.com>
To: LAWENTERP@aol.com
I've managed to deduce from our previous correspondence that
you have access to something called the internet. It may interest
you to know that the internet is not only a way to annoy strangers,
but also a powerful research tool. You may find special web sites
called "search engines," devoted to finding things.
A popular one can be found at http://www.google.com . Why not
search for "Gatorade" and see where it takes you? Happy
hunting, and good luck in the wide open world of the internet!
Nathan Alexander
Commercials I Hate
Wednesday, April 03, 2002
I DON'T work for GATORADE
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6 comments:
I am laughing so hard I am crying. Just wanted you to know. There are no superlatives strong enough to express how much I love you. I would stalk you but I have a life, sorry.
first time visitor to your blog/site and i'd just like to say you are my hero! FUNNIEST POST(s) EVAR!
My first time here. I gotta say thanks, I had several good laughs. Very entertaining stuff.
Dude, Nate,
I agree with some of what you say, but dude, don't make such a big deal about the Poweraide. I know you are sworn to an oath working for Gatorade and all, but calm down, they are comparable.
In all fairness, you make a good site, the big fat woman who writes for you is funny too. Frogstar led me here and I like the KFC comments
Have fun in the upcomming holiday season,
Mike Cook
Dude, Nate,
I agree with some of what you say, but dude, don't make such a big deal about the Poweraide. I know you are sworn to an oath working for Gatorade and all, but calm down, they are comparable.
In all fairness, you make a good site, the big fat woman who writes for you is funny too. Frogstar led me here and I like the KFC comments
Have fun in the upcomming holiday season,
Mike Cook
You were really mean to that guy. I have no choice but to conclude that you are a jerk. Besides, I'm pretty sure that the "Snow" name is meant to evoke coolness or freshness, not that it tastes like snow. Again, you are a total *** and I hope never to meet you.
Mizukage ~water shadow~
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