I just wanted to tell you I love your website, and I totally remember mocking out all the older commercials. In fact, we still make fun of the recent commercials you have on your website. I found a link you might like, it shows what tampon commercials should really be like:
http://www.parasite.tv/embedvids/embedklotex.htm
Anyway, my current most hated commercial is one for healthcare, or prescriptions from Canada, something like that. I do not know if you have seen it, it looks so low budget it may have just been made locally. It starts out with an older man looking at bottles of random medicine in distress, then his phone rings and a 90 year old guy dressed in full fishing gear is on the other line. "Hey Rob, the fish are bitin'!" the old man says, and Rob replies "I can't go fishing today, I have to budget my prescriptions". Because it takes all day to budget, apparently. Anyway, the older man proceeds to tell Rob about his Healthcare plan, and then says "Rob, take down this number!" A number appears on the screen, but the man never tells it to Rob! Poor rob will never get his prescriptions budgeted now, and will never be able to go fishing again! This is an example of many commercials I hate where a person sets up that they will tell a friend an important phone number, name of business, etc. and never do because they expect them to "read the TV screen".
Keep up the good work.
-Andrea
Saturday, January 31, 2004
Friday, January 30, 2004
A commercial I hate.
Back during the ab-roller fad, there was a commercial for one in which the first thing you hear on the commercial is: Are you tired of that fat stomach?! They then go on to say that the ab roller "gives you the sexy body that YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED!"
For anyone like myself who has studied the effect that words have on our way of thinking two things can be said about this commercial:
1. The question "Are you tired of that fat stomach?" is a command to make you feel fat (after all, if you answer with a yes or no, you're telling yourself that you are fat).
2. In the second phrase: "gives you the sexy body that YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED!", they're implying that you've always wanted a better body than the one you have.
In other words, they break down your self esteem so you buy their shitty product. I shit you not, I wanted to break my T.V. when I first heard that fucked up commercial.
D.J. Bortz
For anyone like myself who has studied the effect that words have on our way of thinking two things can be said about this commercial:
1. The question "Are you tired of that fat stomach?" is a command to make you feel fat (after all, if you answer with a yes or no, you're telling yourself that you are fat).
2. In the second phrase: "gives you the sexy body that YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED!", they're implying that you've always wanted a better body than the one you have.
In other words, they break down your self esteem so you buy their shitty product. I shit you not, I wanted to break my T.V. when I first heard that fucked up commercial.
D.J. Bortz
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Thursday, January 22, 2004
How about a Commercial I loved?
A few years back, in the last 90's I think, GEICO Auto Insurance had a very funny commercial. It was from a Black & White movie and there was a man in the movie who looked like he was going insane. It showed him saying, "OHHHHHH douse the fire in my brain, I can't stand the torture, the torment, I can't take it, I can't take. UGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! And he shakes his head like he is totally nuts. This commercial made me laugh so hard and I even called GEICO to see what movie that was from and they didn't know. I am going nuts trying to find this commercial ad. My African Gray parrot can say the whole commercial by heart and I miss it. Can you help?
Love your web site by the way.
Bobbie from New York City.
Love your web site by the way.
Bobbie from New York City.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
website par excellence
Disclaimer: This is an ordinary praise letter, featuring nothing scathing and not much, despite my reasonable intelligence, that might be considered clever or astute. I am proud to claim, however, that you will not find any "cleverly" misspelled words like "b4", "ur" or "bcuz".
I just followed a link to your site, and have to say I enjoyed this homage to the kraftiness of commerce. By the time I had worked my way through the entire site, I had laughed to the point of tears many times. I also cried a few times, though I suspect that's due to the sudden jarring of memories of advertisements past that I had successfully repressed. I absolutely adore the lampooning of the dregs of media, whether it's tv shows or movies, or advertisements of any kind, and your site doesn't fail to deliver.
The next time I find myself driven to madness by broadcast commercialism, I'll consider your site as a viable alternative to gauging my eyes out with a plastic spoon.
Eric
I just followed a link to your site, and have to say I enjoyed this homage to the kraftiness of commerce. By the time I had worked my way through the entire site, I had laughed to the point of tears many times. I also cried a few times, though I suspect that's due to the sudden jarring of memories of advertisements past that I had successfully repressed. I absolutely adore the lampooning of the dregs of media, whether it's tv shows or movies, or advertisements of any kind, and your site doesn't fail to deliver.
The next time I find myself driven to madness by broadcast commercialism, I'll consider your site as a viable alternative to gauging my eyes out with a plastic spoon.
Eric
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Few I hate, and other nuances
I've asked many people in the advertising field if they think this theory holds any weight. So far none have answered me, they just look at me like I'm the devil incarnate. But my position is this. If you make commercials that are so stupid, repetitive, and annoying doesn't that make it anti-marketing? Let me give an example. I'd personally rather buy "Joe's Only Good for an Hour" battery than ever buy an Energizer battery. That revolting little pink wannabe drum monkey pisses me off to no end. It just keeps going and going and going, kind of like the god damned marketing strategy. It was almost ok the first 3 commercials. But what's it been 10-12 years? Die Bunny, Die!
The one type of commercial that pisses me off to no end is the Soup commercial. It doesn't seem to matter what soup it is, but these cocks all bring two cans of soup to work, or to the table at home? I mean who the fuck does this? Random woman is eating soup that looks like my piss after a really hard night of drinking, when random woman 2 comes over with soup that looks as if it's been cooked by Moses and blessed by Jesus. They both for some reason or another decide that not only did they need to bring in some soup for lunch but they needed another can of it to prove what they bought. Or random guy is eating soup at the table at home, but he still needs to have his unopened soup with him in case the soup police come by and want some soup ID. Just now randumb soup whore comes over with her piping hot bowl of soup, plus unopened identification can, and starts mocking him for his choice of food. I'd like to see him look up and say, "I settled for this soup because it was cheap and easy, just like I settled for you."
At which time he'd throw his can of condensed soup off her left temple, crumbling her to the floor. Then he could our her adult soup all over her and laugh like a hyena.
Actually for that commercial would it be so hard for the guy to have left the opened can on the counter next to the garbage? That's where my lazy ass leaves the soup until I'm done eating. They could pan over to it and have the woman say something about trying to eat better, and then she could walk over to the pantry or cupboard and pull out the golden can of soup. And spout off about it's high quality as if we don't all know that it's just canned soup.
I guess you struck a nerve in me, and I'll stop babbling on about it. If you have an answer about the anti-marketing campaign theory of mine please let me know. I'm not schooled in anything meaningful and would like to know if they even think about this shit.
-noisy
The one type of commercial that pisses me off to no end is the Soup commercial. It doesn't seem to matter what soup it is, but these cocks all bring two cans of soup to work, or to the table at home? I mean who the fuck does this? Random woman is eating soup that looks like my piss after a really hard night of drinking, when random woman 2 comes over with soup that looks as if it's been cooked by Moses and blessed by Jesus. They both for some reason or another decide that not only did they need to bring in some soup for lunch but they needed another can of it to prove what they bought. Or random guy is eating soup at the table at home, but he still needs to have his unopened soup with him in case the soup police come by and want some soup ID. Just now randumb soup whore comes over with her piping hot bowl of soup, plus unopened identification can, and starts mocking him for his choice of food. I'd like to see him look up and say, "I settled for this soup because it was cheap and easy, just like I settled for you."
At which time he'd throw his can of condensed soup off her left temple, crumbling her to the floor. Then he could our her adult soup all over her and laugh like a hyena.
Actually for that commercial would it be so hard for the guy to have left the opened can on the counter next to the garbage? That's where my lazy ass leaves the soup until I'm done eating. They could pan over to it and have the woman say something about trying to eat better, and then she could walk over to the pantry or cupboard and pull out the golden can of soup. And spout off about it's high quality as if we don't all know that it's just canned soup.
I guess you struck a nerve in me, and I'll stop babbling on about it. If you have an answer about the anti-marketing campaign theory of mine please let me know. I'm not schooled in anything meaningful and would like to know if they even think about this shit.
-noisy
Speaking of KFC
I join you in your struggle, dear friend. I too am a graduate of a Film and
Television Production program. It angers me to see companies pay great
money, for commercials that are colossal pieces of elephant shit. I see
great commercials, like the Enzyte - Enhance your pleasure commercials. Then
there are bad ones, like KFC.
The commercial where this loser is stuffing his face full of greasy, fat,
caloric-loaded chicken. His friend walks up and says, 'Hey man, you're
looking good. What have you been up to?" The glutton manages to pull the
heart attack on a bone away from his garbage disposal long enough to mutter,
"Eatin' chicken." The rest of the commercial tries to convince us that
you'll be healthy eating all this KFC, cause it's low in carbs and high in
protein. FUCK YOU KFC, FUCK YOU RIGHT IN COLONEL SANDERS ROTTING ASS!
Eat anything you want, I don't care. Shit, God knows I'll eat the asshole
out of a dead skunk if I'm hungry enough and in the mood for it, but don't
act like we're all stupid. "Sure, you can drink the fat right out of the
fryer, cause it's low in carbs." God damn it, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Shawn
Television Production program. It angers me to see companies pay great
money, for commercials that are colossal pieces of elephant shit. I see
great commercials, like the Enzyte - Enhance your pleasure commercials. Then
there are bad ones, like KFC.
The commercial where this loser is stuffing his face full of greasy, fat,
caloric-loaded chicken. His friend walks up and says, 'Hey man, you're
looking good. What have you been up to?" The glutton manages to pull the
heart attack on a bone away from his garbage disposal long enough to mutter,
"Eatin' chicken." The rest of the commercial tries to convince us that
you'll be healthy eating all this KFC, cause it's low in carbs and high in
protein. FUCK YOU KFC, FUCK YOU RIGHT IN COLONEL SANDERS ROTTING ASS!
Eat anything you want, I don't care. Shit, God knows I'll eat the asshole
out of a dead skunk if I'm hungry enough and in the mood for it, but don't
act like we're all stupid. "Sure, you can drink the fat right out of the
fryer, cause it's low in carbs." God damn it, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Shawn
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Commercials Suck
Hey man I just stumbled upon your site randomly while searching for pictures of annoying celebrities. I just want to say that it's a great cause you've got going because commercially really blow big time. It might interest you to know that this summer I wrote a few essays about stupid and terrible commercials for the online humor magazine that I run at www.GonzoSandwich.tk (in the Features menu, click on Rants and click "Lies in Advertising". I'm too broke for a real domain so it might take a few attempts to load). I'm in the middle of working on a giant collage of annoying celebrities for next month's issue but I just wanted to stop and email you real quick. I look forward to continued perusal of your site, and if you ever want to do any cross-promotion or anthing like that, just drop me a line.
Later,
Ryan Carey
Later,
Ryan Carey
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Saturday, January 10, 2004
I hate
I hate commercials that say "call now" like you are going to pick up the phone right then and there. Get original don't make yours like all the rest. If this is what commercials are like in the future, I am glad I have a mute button.
- Rosemary Grimm
- Rosemary Grimm
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