Help stop the madness, PLEASE...

Nathan,

You have rip on these two crappy trends of advertising that has been going on for what seems like years.  Its the slogan that makes the product or service seem so fast and simple a monkey could do it, or the "question" slogans.  Examples

Chilis to go - Get in, Get out, Get on with your life
T-Mobile - Get More
Visa Check Card - Visa. It'll get you in, out and on with life
Quick (a local paper here in Dallas) - Grab it, read it, go
Texas Department of Public Safety - Drink, Drive, Go to Jail
Diamond Shamrock - Drive in, Drive out
Voicestream wireless - Don't pay more, just get more
Diet Pepsi - Think young. Drink young
Anheuser Busch - Think Fresh. Drink Fresh 

and the damn questions...

Microsoft - Where do you want to go today?
Milk - Got milk?
Gatorade - Is it in you?
Yahoo - Do you yahoo?
Ford - Have you driven a Ford lately?
Arbys - What are you eating?
Fort Worth Star Telegram - What do you want to know?
Cadbury's Fruit & Nut - Are you a Cadbury's Fruit & Nut case?
even Allstate has a radio spot that goes - Are you in good hands?

What the hell?  Someone comes up with an idea then everyone runs with it?  Its such a rip-off, where is the creativity in it?  These marketing geniuses suck.  These two slogan types are especially abundant in local area marketing where they just copy what is popular.  I'm sure with you expansive resources you could triple the amount of examples I came up with.  Come on, man, help stop this crap!

Your loyal fan,

Shane

Jews and Christians in LA

Yo,

Found your site looking for commercials.

I was struck about the Jews Don't Exist rant. I agree with you entirely, but
if you go even further, these fuckers even take most of the Christianity out
of Christmas, as well. It's like they're even fucking scared to do that
these days. They try to hit the middle so hard that they go right past
everyone and through the wall with there fat asses sticking out!

I mean, did you see ELF? Funny as hell, but like most of these things, it's
all turned into Santa Claus, who isn't even Christian. Shouldn't he be in
church Christmas Eve? Does fucking Santa Claus get nailed on the cross or
trek through the desert, or hide scared for his life in a closet during WWII
or anything? He's done nothing! Wasn't Santa Claus invented in the early
20th by an advertising firm? Funny they would elect one of their own
creations to take the place of any religious symbols! The list of offending
movies that just toss any religious context out the door is far longer than
any that even mention religion, other than as evil.

So what I am saying is, you're not alone. They've alienated everyone. Put
another way, have any parents through time told their kids that GOD doesn't
exist once they "outgrow" it? Why do we put kids through this trauma! Why
not just be honest and tell them Santa is a crock of shit!


Tongue planted firmly in cheek,

John P.

From a kindred spirit

Nathan,

I stumbled across your site today and it's hilarious.  I'm glad you included the category,stupid men commercials, as that's one that's bothered me for a long time.  Some of them are truly offensive.  If a minority was portrayed that way with such consistency, there would be law suits and protests galore.

A category you may have missed that bothers me is "regular" people singing a product theme song- like the Kitkat song.  It's an annoying song and I've never known someone to spontaneously sing it.  They've been showing them for years and I've been waiting for them to go away.  Now, instead, Chili's- a Tex Mex restaurant chain- has copied it.  I've seen two now- both show musicians singing the Chili's theme song.  The worst part is that on the bottom they say who the musicians are- "Bob Whatever, school teacher."  So, they're part time musicians?  Like wedding singer bands?  I don't get it.

You also seem to have ignored an entire genre- car commercials.  I generally don't find them as bad- except for a recent truck one that emphasises a Hemi, which is shown to be some impressive male power thing. I'm especially irritated by it, because I don't know what a Hemi is and apparently should, so I'm reminded of how un-manly I can be.  But I digress.  My overall problem with the car commercials is with the volume of them.  I seriously don't think there is a prime time commercial break without them.  I'd rather pay $1,000 less for my car and not have to endure all those commercials.

Rather than create a website to vent my frustration, as you did, I bought Tivo.  Since installing it a few weeks ago, I haven't seen a commercial I didn't want to watch (I watched the trailer for Lord of the Rings).  I highly recommend it.

Thanks for the website,

Kit

nominations for new commercials to hate

First off, fucking brilliant site.  Very funny.

I don't know why this is, but suddenly I find that there are certain commercials I hate so much that I am actually talking to people about it when I'm away from my TV.

Chili's

I'm sorry, I can't take the awful songs.  Not only that but I just think that only a morbidly obese person would love the food so much they have to sing about it.

Nexium-"The Little Purple Pill"

Ugh.  Really annoying in general.  Also, if you start hearing voices in your head at parties, in restaurants, and just as you're about to climb into bed with your wife....maybe the commercial should be for:  Lithium: The Little Pill That Fixes BIG Problems.

Once again, I love the site.  That's all yer gettin'.

Susan

Had to tell you I loved the Site!

Hello Nathan,

Just wanted to let you know I came across your Site when I was looking for the New Hanes Commercial.

And I forgot about looking for that when I saw all the funny things on your site!

Alot of the Same Commercials Drive me insane also. I'm Actually Pretty freaking happy I haven't seen a taco bell "dog" commercial in a couple years now. I think the dog wanted more money. :)

anyway, I would love to see some Updates to see what commercials you can't stand Today.

Your New Fan,

Jennifer

gatorade sucks!

Nathan,

Thank you for relinquishing my doubts about why I was the only person in
the world that hated these new Gatorade flavors. I have also written
Gatorade to receive the same stupid yet well-rehearsed answers. Love your
web-site!!!

Heide K. Dans

Your website

Hello Nathan,

I run a fanpage website for a local morning radio show that airs
in Tucson, AZ and Reno, NV. I feature a website every week on my
site. I love your website and I chose it to be my featured site
this week, and depending on my laziness it could very possibly be up
for several weeks :) I just wanted to let you know and I hope that
it is ok with you.

You can check it out by visiting http://www.ilovethefrankshow.com

Thanks!

--
~lesley
~webmistress
~www.ilovethefrankshow.com

Collection Agency

Name: Rana Ramjas
Subject: Collection Agency

I had, on two occasions made appointments with the dentist and was turned back when I arrived at her office because she was "overbooked". I was never aware that there is a “no show” policy in which the dentist would charge me. When I received a bill for $25.00 from the dentist I called her office and explained that I didn’t think that I should pay the bill because of the two reasons set out above. I explained to the assistant that I wasn’t aware that there was a “no shown” policy and I should have been notified when I first came to visit and furthermore I have shown up for appointments and was turned back because they had overbooked. Now the dentist has turned over this matter to a collection agency who is asking me to pay $75.00 and threatened me on the phone that the amount will go up. I feel as if I am being robbed and a bit helpless because the collection agency is so nasty and I really think that it is unfair to pay this kind of money for no service rendered.

HELP!

No. 212-450-4811

It is a form of harassment for a claim in the amount of $75.00 for no service rendered to be submitted to a collection agency.

funny junk

hey nathan,

i came across your website by accident, but i'm so glad i did because i laughed so hard.  so hilarious.  thanks for the laughs.

katrina

Excellent Site

Dude!

Your web site is fantastic! I agree with you -- so
many ads are just so stupid.

My favorite BS expression is "all-new". Is that
better than just "new"?

Like the "all-new Honda Civic". What does it have,
five wheels and a periscope?

And "crispy". Is that better than "crisp"?

Rock on!

-- Mark Calandra

Hey Nathan, I was surfing the internet on this extremely cold and boring night and I came across your site. May I say its very interesting. I sort of find it funny that your slamming the commercials that havent bugged me nearly as much as GEICO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though I havent looked threw the whole site yet i think your missing the most obvious commercials! GEICO is almost the only commercial that makes me wish i could afford to break my TV everytime I see one of those ads!

I do find your site "hateful" but not at all offensive on any level. Lets face it the whole bad is good trend is a big part of the 21st century. I got a huge kick out of what you had to say about the Femring. I dont know how im going to eat an egg for awhile without thinking of scrammbled "overies" instead.

Keep up the entertaining ranting,

Jon

Spokane, WA

gracias

Enjoyed your site -- I think that Lamisil ad was just about the worst ever!

Thanks,

~Holly

Jet Jockeys are just Dorks with Gorilla Penises.....

I know you don't need me to tell you this but that was a well-written and funny response to dreamweavercatcher. I cyberstumbled onto your website while searching another variable but had a terrific giggle when I read your letter. 

It has always seriously confused my that anyone could make these great sweeping assumptions about people they meet (or whose site they've viewed)on the net and then believe to be God's own truth that which is merely their unsupported opinion. This is a person that teaches aspiring pilots to fly F15s???? Well, it may be just my unsupported opinion, but that's some scary shit. I wonder what he does on his leisure time..... oh yeh! he writes abusive letters to people he thinks he knows so well. Wonderful. As I said, scary shit.....

Anyhoo, I enjoyed your site and whether it's worth anything or not, I don't think your site has you coming-off as a "lonely pretty boy punk" but just as another person who is utilizing the internet to express himself in a rather creative way. Of course, I don't teach people to fly F15s nor am I a pilot. I'm just a lowly ol' air navigator on the C130 hercules. Done 4 tours and am in-line to do another. Those jet jockeys? They're a breed unto themselves......

By the way, the subject line is just my own sweeping assumption about jet jockeys. And Gorillas? About the size of a pencil the last time I watched National Geographic.

- Ken Stewart

nifty

Name: MS.Nifty
Subject: nifty

i want to let all you people no that i invented nifty lift and i will show all of you how i did itgood

Great site

It is after one am here in mass and I stumbled onto your site.  I havent laughed so hard in a long long time. Bookmarked it, and i plan to be a regular.  There are so many stupid commercials, this is a great outlet for us frustrated tv junkies :) Its been a pleasure.

Tootles

- mommie.homieg

are there any Commercials you like?

Dear Nathan

I'm a big fan of your site .i love it,i love it, i love it.
me an my cousin look at this site about 2 year ago and we
visite every once in a wile and i have to tell you it's funny.
i love making fun of thing any way.i did kinda want to know
if there may be some advertisments you may like?
i don't like the fem-products or dad is stupid and
mom know's better commercials .so we have elements
of bad ones so what are in your opion what are elemnts
of a good one.well you have a good day.

David

bullshit commercials

I'm loving it??  What the hell, loving that Mcdonalds makes your ass fat and clogs your arteries, be more specific..

And Rally's, you got to eat??  Yeah you're a fucking mammal what else are you going to do.  Don't eat their shit that's for sure.

And American Idol fucking advertising Ford cars during the show??  And it's always some cheap shit they wouldn't drive if they did become the American Idol and had some money.  Yeah they drove that shit to the auditions, lol.

And that old ass Life-Arrest commercials.. So disrespectful to old ladies we know they fall down on their wrinkled ass when they're alone we don't have to be reminded of it.

And those fucking tampon commercials.  Like your nasty ass is going to wear white slacks while you're on your period.  Yeah right, you're wearing a black thong that we can see peeping out of your jeans every other day of the month ...

Christopher Kendalls

help find commercial

Hey what happening - I loved ur site & only wished that u can help me
further my search & finding a commercial in which i was in with legendary great
'New York knick' player Walt Frazier in between the years 1972 - 1974 -
commercial was about has faded my mind i was about age 14
I tried many sites driving myself crazy until no ends - Could u tell me
how i can find search a commercial or if there's some other Data bank which
would be helpful for me to locate this commercial
Thz U - Craig

i love sarcasm

This website is hilarious.  Are the letters you post on your site for real, because I cannot BELIEVE there are people out there taking the time to write such angry and idiotic letters!  And WHY are there so many people out there who cannot spell or even phrase a sentence correctly (come on people, spell check is easy!)  I agree that you're pretty cute, but don't worry, I'm not going to stalk you.   

Shana

A big-ass rave for you

WOW, i just finished reading the piece you wrote for the main page at CIH, the "Totally Unrelated Rant" about file-sharing, and i am here at my computer shouting at the screen, "He's right! He's right!" Glad i'm the only one home...
Anyway, that is about the best point made for the consumer's side of the argument that i've ever read. Excellent. Mind if i use it when needed?
The whole thing pisses me off anyway. My dad is an artist/musician, and trust me, if he were famous and thought anyone liked his stuff enough to download it, he'd be thrilled! It would make his day. But that's just my dad, and he rocks anyway.
I'm done...have a good evening.
VH1 can kiss CIH's ass, by the way. Someone over there needs a life.
--beth pope

A lovely response.

Responding to the lovely post by the
Queen of stupid. princess_batgirl@hotmail.com

After writing my opinions I hadnt realized her post was from 1998. Knowing that I wouldnt have written this at all, however I did. So read it.

This email still has me laughing, I'm serious. I teared up. This girl is perhaps biggest weiner I've ever seen. (Not seen, rather spent valuable time reading her bullshit ramblings.) I know you obviously already know all this, however I like relating to people as you enjoy 'fans' or people that worship the ground you walk apon. So as you did I will pick apart this ridiculous email, sharing my wonderful opinions.

I'll start with the link she left. I cant tell if she's gushing about an actor or something on the site, the Romeo person who she regularly mentions, I cant tell if she's 8 or 12. Im wondering what possess a little girl who (quoting you) 'likes 12 year old singers that sing about sex' to even express an opinion on this page. She should grow up just a touch before I could even respect a word from her mouth, she's making a complete fool of herself. Correct me if I'm wrong, or stop reading if you Nathan, disagree.

I'm not even going to begin on how she refers to you as a racist or something along those lines. In this day and age people can never take anything right. If you even look at someone wrong your discriminating. Its getting to the point where we cant even bring up people of other races or religions. Everyone should take a deep breath, pop an asprin and calm the fuck down, not taking everthing so seriously.

Next.

Hahahhahaha-
'And as for other commercials, you have no taste'

Alright, I cant let this one slide. Lets put some things down (taking this purely from her site) a few little things that are to her 'taste' (Things under her 'Other 'Phat' links selection) Nickolodeon, Sony, Something called 'playsite' which Im too terrified to click on. Not to mention that her whole site is worshipping the 12 year old, that I still cant figure out who he is, besides the fact that he's 'hot' and 'phat'. Looking at her prefered things I just realized she's society's child really, I pity her. And her parents for having to spend money on that shit.

'You obviously don't have a sense of humor or else you'd think they're good, too. You might as well put all of the commercials down! To you, EVERY commercial in the world stinks.'

Every commercial does 'stink.' Nathan you have a sense of humour. You humoured us with posting her ridiculous email and responding to it, inspiring me to also.
The day you go in a commercial, making mankind officially hopeless is the day hell freezes over.

Another thing is this: if you're a guy, you have NO right to judge those feminine commercials unless you've actually tested their product before. How do you know what's what? I can see if you're comin' out of the closet or if you're a woman, but if you're not - what are you talking about? AND what gives? If you're a guy, it really doesn't matter what you think about pad and tampax commercials......or does it?

Im thinking two things: fuuuck, another one of those 'girls'. Another one of those damned feminists to choke whats left of our image. Secondly, is she calling you gay here? I applaud her for trying to make us think something incorrect, a lie. Does she know that lies are the devils work?
I dont understand the bagel bites thing either. They taste horrible and no matter how you cook them they are soggy. Why would she support these? Oh wait! I know!! She's a moron.
I cant comprehend why she brings the fact that your Jewish into this post or why your the one who's the 'scrooge' because you have an opinion and she didnt like it.

'One last thing: there are a couple of commercials that you didn't mention that do stink.'

She has obviously done her damage, I hate it how people kiss ass at the end of emails to even the score or something. You already have a clear image of who she is and what her purpose was, dont waste your breath darling. She then realizes what she wrote, but being 12, cant reach the 'backspace' key to earase her stupidity she decides to freak out, proving her pre-teen angst and loosing whatever dignity she might have been clinging onto.

'And how are you going to tell US what WE think?! Don't know what I mean? What I mean is when you were talking about how NO ONE likes some of the commercials you said! For example you said something like, "I think I speak for everyone when I say that this commercial is getting old..." or something like that.'

Her ignorance really bothers me. Nathan, YOU SPOKE FOR US, you spoke right.
The end bit doesnt make sense. Why would you need to get another persons opinion if your site is produced by you and about YOUR opinions on commercials. Bah. And why the fuck would you want to re look the commercial to 'find out what 2+2 is.' Why, really? It sucks, you hate it. End of story.

sincerly, amber
ps- I passed your 'Dating Nate' test. Let's get married, no?
pps- Looking forward to your thoughts.

You're doing good!

Hey:

I just stumbled onto your website by mistake. I read some of the letters
there, including the letter slopping all over you about "sitting around all
day" with nothing better to do than to bitch about what you don't like.

I wanted to let you know: I think you're doing a great job. Yes, you are a
pretty boy. Maybe that's why this butt-ugly creep felt like he needed to
take a dump on your picnic blanket.

You don't sound like the type of person who lets people like that get you
down, and I admire that. Your response to Butt-Ugly was well-mannered, and
he deserved to be brought down to size.

I wish you the best of success in all of your endeavors. You're going
places, I can tell...

Skw'lapt
Duran Bobb

nomination

Dear Nathan,

I love your site!  I just wanted to take a minute to nominate an addition to your list of commercial offenders (my apologies if you’ve already covered it; I haven’t had time to explore your entire site, just the alphabetical list on the front page.)

I hate, hate, hate the seemingly endless campaign of Herbal Essence commercials!  You know the ones—with the “totally ‘organic’ experience” line that seems to suggest that either the smell or the feel of Herbal Essence hair products will fill in the gaps in your sorry sex life with ecstasy-inducing pleasure.  My husband and I always wince and change the channel when these commercials come on, especially since the vast majority of them seem to air during family TV hour and we are not the sort of parents who relish explaining the whats and whys of an orgasm to our four year old daughter.  

Someone stop the madness!

Thanks, Katrina Swaim

Hey Nathan,

I'm a 4th year marketing student in Ontario, Canada and I came by your website by mistake but I am so glad I did. Me and my class were laughing so hard at your comments - you're brilliant! Keep 'em coming. PS> I've bookmarked your site - a definite keeper!!

Take Care,

Edwyna

Nathan,

Thank you for posting my emails to you onto your website. It's fantastic to be a part of your gold mine of a website. Now the whole world will know of my love for you and my email stalking ways. I hope one day our paths will cross and I'll be able to show you my ass, until then I'll dream of you every time a toe-eating-fungus commercial comes on.

Much booty from your commercial hating, star-crossed lover.

ilovenatealexander @ hotmail.com

ilovenatealexander @ hotmail.com

From: "I love Natey"
Date: Mon Sep 1, 2003 8:26:51 PM US/Pacific
To: Nathan @ Commercialsihate.com

Natey,
First off, your website is one of the best that I've ever come across. It made me laugh harder than I ever have. I usually try not to laugh because I have this weird snort thing going on that tends to scare small children and old people. But this all changed when i read your site. I laughed and snorted away.
I swear you're (<-- note the you're used in proper form) like the god of commercial hatin'. Who needs Zeus when we got Natey. I love your site more than drinking cold beer on a beach while orgasmic men walk by. I also love you. Mind you, my love for you is not in a stalker way where you'd find me peeking through a painting with holes cut out for the eyes, looking at you while you're on the crapper. I hope that one day we shall meet and I'll finally be able to touch that spikey jew head of yours.
much continuous love,
your fellow commercial hater soul mate

p.s i've got the worlds greatest ass.

Golden Grahams with the college Kid

Have you ever seen the Golden Grahams cereal commercial, where this couple goes to pick up their doofus son from college, and they are all proud of him, and then he is like "Know what I miss most, GOLDEN GRAHAMS", and then he says, he is gonna have a bowl, and he might just eat them all, and then they kick his sorry ass out of the car? OK, well, number 1. This is a horrible message to send to families. 2. Most major colleges are in pretty decent sized town or cities, where I  AM SURE THERE IS A SUPERMARKET OR EVEN A CONVENIENCE STORE THAT ACTUALLY SELLS GOLDEN GRAHAMS. What is this commercial trying to tell us? That if you go to college that  you will not get Golden Grahams? I am sure you can buy it anywhere, the commercial is just plain stupid.

- In Visible

Your site kicks ass

I totally agree with you 101% with your site.  Especially your opinion on saying brand names in commercials.  I was laughing so hard when I found your site!!  Anyone who says you are racist or rude can talk to me because I think this guy is the God of commercial hating.  Also I would like to say.  In the future instead of having feminist commercials they will have homosexuals in like wheelchairs at walmart saying "I always shop at Wal-mart with the fat bitch next door from the south"  Ya the south I said.  There is always hicks from the south in those walmart commercials. Its really frickin stupid and assining.  Well love the site bye

Michael Valeri

HiyEEz

From: JuLiee
Date: August 18, 2003 6:49 PM
To: nathan @commercialsihate.com
Subject: HiyEEz
JuX WAnTED To DRoP BAi To SAYee THAT i DinK Yoo LooK REAlEE CuTE =) HAHA AiiTEz DEn LATEz!

Thanks for a great site

Nathan,

I ran across your site, and wanted to say "Thank you"
for voicing an opinion on these annoying commercials.
Maybe these stupid advertisers will get the message
and put on decent commercials that annoy the hell out
of the consumer.

However, I didn't see an opinion on the "Overactive
Bladder" commercials I've been seeing on TV for over a
year. I'm sure you have seen it. It depicts people
having overactive bladders and shows them running to
the restroom. The thing I hate the most about the
commercial is the damn jingle/song. "Gotta go right
now!". Geez, we could really do WITHOUT this.
Chances are, if you are peeing every 15 minutes, you
are probably going to see a doctor anyways. We don't
need a jingle to remind us.

Now every time I take a pee, I have that jingle
running through my head. Ughh!

Anyways, keep up the good work. I will be visiting
your site often.

Thanks again, and have a great day.

Delf

Your site

I have got to say that was one of the dumbest sites that i have ever visited. Theres no point to it other than u want to tell your whole stupid story on how u dont like frost gatorade and u want to find out the flavors that they put in it. blah blah blah!!! who cares!!!!!! why would u spend time making and paying to do a website like that. get over it. gatorade is what it is.

AMF5000

Like, what's his problem

Dear Nathan, I found your site the other day, and I think it's amusing and interesting. Surely someone as critical as yourself won't mind a little criticism from me. When will people like you realise how pathetic it is to use "LIKE" all the time, you know I was like ..... so she was like ........, I'm like .........
Sadly it's one of the poorer things to come out of America. If you could listen to yourself from a Non-American point of view, perhaps you'd understand.

Best wishes, I hate those adverts too.

David Cosslett

Your website

Nathan [or is it Nate?]:

    I stumbled upon your website today and I have to tell you I have not laughed that hard since Minnesota elected Jessie Ventura to be governor. You are by far one of the wittiest people I have ever encountered and I thoroughly enjoyed pouring through your acerbic rants and biting rebuttals to the idiot savants who felt the need to throw their two cents into the ring. I even found myself ranting when I got home whenever a stupid commercial came on, much to the chagrin of my roommate who, after about ten minutes, threw up her hands and went to buy a bottle of wine. Is that a natural reaction? Do you drive people to drink?

    Anyway, I made a few observations of my own and thought I would share them with you really quick before someone at work actually catches on to the fact that I have spent three or four days avoiding work. Thank God law school starts in four weeks and I am out of here in three, because if they had any idea how little I actually do during the day, I probably would have been fired months ago.

    1.     Respectcopyrights.org: Have you seen this piece of advertising? Sean Astin and Ben Affleck flicking across the screen among a litany of underpaid, undervalued minimum wage workers who they claim are also affected by piracy? Yeah, because my downloading Bruce Almighty from KaZaA means that some teenage stoner working at the local theater is going to be prevented from making $5.15 an hour. Here's a novel idea Ben, you don't want me to download your movies off a pirate website, stop charging $17.00 for shit movies and overdone plot lines. Make a movie with substance for once and depend upon that little skill that requires you to be in Hollywood, called acting, instead of your chiseled features and tabloid notoriety. And on that note, if the Supreme Court can put a moratorium on the death penalty because it is cruel and unusual punishment, can't we do the same thing to prevent J Lo from acting, singing, appearing in public?

    2.    Any tourism advertisement for any state in the Midwest. I live in the Midwest, and I can tell you, people in New York and California don't sit around watching television, see these commercials and think, I have never been to the Lake of the Ozarks, that sounds like a fun family trip of inbreeding and illiteracy. People don't visit Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas and Missouri because they like the atmosphere. They visit these states because their goddamned car broke down here while they were on their way to a much more exciting city. We are not tourist traps, we are simply traps for the weary traveler who's flight is cancelled because there is snow in fucking September and they are stuck at some Budget 8 in historical downtown [insert Midwest city here] where the cacophony of one way streets is so utterly untraversable that it would Magellan a migraine headache. Stop pretending that we have anything to offer other than creatively placed trailer parks and an overabundance of unwed teenage mothers, we are not a cultural hub.

    3.    Those fucking 10 10 ... numbers. Some things belong in the 1980s; acid wash jeans, diamond rolled cuffs, Hulk Hogan and Alf. Tell me what a furry alien would know about my phone bill. Did the 10 10 execs sit around and attempt to think up ways to insult the intelligence of the average consumer? And when did Hulk Hogan start acting? Isn't that like Jessie Ventura being elected governor? Oh, wait....

    4.    Any commercial that uses a cute cartoon or a talking animal to sell its product. Does a bear shit in the woods? Why yes he does, but for $15.00 a roll he can have the added comfort of new Charmin, "is this a down comforter or toilet paper", Super Colossal Quilt. Is it just me or is it a little disturbing to actually contemplate purchasing a bathroom tissue based on a cartoon character's bowel movements? And what is up with the Gecko? Did they actually pay someone to come up with this idea? "Well lets see, Gecko kind of sounds like GEICO and everyone loves that annoying Taco Bell dog, I think we have a winner...."  I mean really what does a Gecko have to do with me crashing into so old lady who refuses to use her turn signals for fear that she will burn out the fucking light bulb?

    Thanks for providing quality entertainment and allowing me to sound off a little. It's a great website and you are just hilarious!

Jenn

commercial that puzzles me

Do you remember those deodorant commercials from a few years back that started with a woman saying, "The last time I wore this dress..." and going on with her story about finding out that some other deodorant didn't keep her as dry as Secret, or whatever it was. Now, I know commmercials are supposed to get your attention and it doesn't much matter how they do it, but I've always wondered about this opening. There's no attempt to make it make sense in the context of the commercial, saying that she had to take her dress to the dry-cleaners, or something. The dress is simply used as a marker, a place in time. I have to believe that this was written by a man who thinks that women spend a great deal of time talking and thinking about their dresses, and bringing them up in conversation as often as they can. In his mind, if a woman comes to work in a new dress, she and a friend of hers spend at least five minutes at the beginning of the day talking about the dress, every little detail of it, how it feels to wear it, if she's wearing the right belt, the right high heels, every little thing. I'm pretty sure that women don't do his.

If you don't remember this commercial, this is how it went:

Let's say it was for Secret, since I don't remember the product. It's set in a hotel room. It starts with a woman in a red dress saying to the camera, referring to her dress, "The last time I wore this dress was when I discovered that Secret roll-on kept me drier than the leading roll-on." ( or something like that ) Then she's shown in flash-back, the dress is shown on a hanger, she's about to slip into it. She's visiting a friend, she's out of secret, her friend lends her another roll-on, she's shown at a party in her red dress, but "it didn't really keep me as dry as Secret roll-on." Then there's some more verbiage, and she's shown at the end, back in the present, posing in her red dress and obviously enjoying her dress very much, and saying, "That's why I use it." It's almost like the commercial is for the dress.

Then they did another similar one, with a woman at an airport saying, "The last time I wore this dress," again, posing as though she's presenting her dress for the camera. After all the verbiage she's back at the airport, and she says something truly odd. "Well, we're off again! Me, my dress, and Secret roll-on." And off she goes.

So you can see how I remembered these commercials as odd. Even for a commercial.

Do you remember this commercial?

- Alan Plessinger

Nathan,

Get a life and stop being such a freakin snob.  Are you that anal you can not enjoy something for what it is, rather then pick it apart in a dillusionary waste of web space.  If you dont like Frost then dont drink it.  Go back to drinking water from the Alps.

annoyed,

Jason Bougie

Your website

Maybe it's just because I'm sleep-deprived and have an essay due tomorrow I
haven't even started yet, but I found your site quite amusing. I laughed
out loud at the picture from the Playtex website, "Getting ready for your
first period." Is it first period gym class? Oh, that first period? Well,
no wonder Carrie had such a humiliating experience with her first period.
She wasn't in pyramid position. Is it the girl on top "getting ready"? or
all of them together? I don't recall being on a "period pyramid" team, but
I sat out most activities in middle & high school. Killer cramps will do
that to you, antisocial attitude notwithstanding. Upon reflection, I don't
think I want to be at the bottom of that living structure if we're all
starting our periods at once. Hey, the one in the red shirt is a boy! I
guess Playtex is fighting gender discrimination in its own way.
Just wanted to say thanks for maintaining this site. If humorless
bloodthirsty right-wingers like DreamWeaverCatcher are outraged at you
daring to complain about god-given red-blooded American mass-media
brainwashing THEY can't even stand, I think you'd better expand.
-the jax

Stalker not-quite-wannabe

From: "Melinda"
Date: Tue Jul 15, 2003 9:59:03 AM US/Pacific
To: nathan @commercialsihate.com
Subject: Stalker not-quite-wannabe

Dear Nathan,
I think you're the handsomest boy in the whole world too, and though I'd really like to stalk you, I just lack that level of energy and commitment. Plus, you might slip and call me Melissa, and that would really piss me off.
Love,
Melinda

Top 50 Commercials

Good morning!

I've been working on VH1's "Top 50 Commercials," and recently came across
your site. I'll have to admit: I'm hooked.

We're currently interviewing commentators for our show, and, while the line
up is far from final, I was wondering if you'd have any interest in talking
to us about our Top 50 list and sharing your opinions on the contenders...

Feel free to give me a call, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Rachel Korowitz
VH1

A commercial I hate

There's a Kohl's commercial with a psycho guy driving
an ice cream truck to the song "Ice Cream Man." He
slows down and speeds up and never lets the people
catch up. Somebody should plant a spike strip in front
of his truck.

Carol

Website... good

Feeling an urge to surf the net, I found your site. I hate that term... the "Surfing" one. Surfing requires moving... activity... "surfing the net" requires a few fingers and a good deal of soda.
As it is, your site provided me with numerous moments of entertainment, thus helping me to slowly spend the time until my death. I thank you dearly for this, and offer a sense of "you're not alone" in the Online-Idiot department. I Receive many e-mails about statements I make from people taking me too seriously. They don't quite understand the concept of satire, irony, or even just sillyness. It's absurd that some people don't recognize certain statements entertainment purposes, instead deciding everything written or said should be taken at face value.
I love you.
______________________________
"Tous vos bases sont a nous!"
Alex Thobaben - Bringing you the best clam chowder since 1856
http://noodleboyx.topcities.com

Thanks!

Although I've taken to taping shows simply to avoid annoying commercials, to be honest it's tedious, and besides who watches taped TV shows anyway since people only watch TV because when you're watching a broadcast you can pretend it's not as mediocre as you know it is when you have it on tape; we all know that TV is an excuse to procrastinate from doing anything better and so once you have the show on tape,  you can watch it ANYTIME whereas when it's a live broadcast you have to watch it NOW and run back from the kitchen to make sure you don't miss the season finale of "Frasier" that they're only going to show ONE more time ever again on that network but you don't know when, and then it's off to syndication, i.e. you might never see it again.

So clearly it's not quality people watch for, it's diversion and fantasy that it's better than it's even hyped to be (kinda like sex), and commercials are all about getting people to buy crap they don't want with money they don't have, while the way they insult your intelligence just to grab your attention is just like saying "HEY YOU STUPID MUTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE, HAND OVER THE CASH OR ELSE" without having the courage to admit it; however when someone implies that a certain close blood-related woman dropped me on my head as a baby and then went on to have sex with me, and that he wants my money under threat of disaster, at least the person has the decency to admit that he's my enemy and that he hates me, while the marketing-geniuses who spawn this intellectual torture actually act like they're on  your side and they're doing you some sort of favor by attempting to trigger emotional responses and subconscious correlations akin to Soviet brainwashing in order to hypnotize you into involuntarily forking out money to buy ice cubes to send to your pal in northern Alaska. Somehow I'd prefer that if someone insults my intelligence and wants my money under threat, I just ask that they do it directly and not resort to covert PSY-OPS propaganda to commandeer my private brain-activity under the guise of honest information about a product that I would perceive, on my own, to be worth more to me than the money asked in exchange for it, and so all the money which goes to manipulative hoop-la and huckster-hawking backed by buildings full of PhD's in advertising psychology is just for the sheer fun of it-- just like they would have us believe that they go through thousands of models to find the perfect "Maybelline Girl" for the hell of it, since any person could achieve that look simply by using their product, and that women who use 47 different products to attract men don't REALLY want male attention.

I was really impressed with your  handling of dreamweavercatcher@msn.com, since I for one DON'T believe he can reach the morning light, or that he's ever flown an F-15 that doesn't have a multi-player function on the internet. I also get sick of the slackers who think that changing the channel will do anything but encourage the evil ones in the advertising industry for whom no hell could ever burn too long or too hot, and would just as soon turn off Adolph Hitler preaching anti-Semitic hatemongering (we all see how well THAT turned out-- Qui Tacit Consentire)-- with apologies to Tim Robbins and the Dixie Chicks, free speech applies just as much to my right to expressing disapproval to some message that I find abhorrent, as much as it does to their right to originally say it; however, "Fighting Words" like those used by Mr. Weaver are NOT protected by the First Amendment (OR the Second), and it's interesting how those who speak most loudly about Free Speech are the first ones to engage in coercive and abusive conduct in order to suppress the Free Speech of those who criticize anything at all (of course this doesn't apply to their criticism of your criticism, since they're obviously on a mission from God to protect free speech and you've broken God's law by daring to criticize).

 All in all, I have to say you're the one on a mission from God, if there is one.

Tulkas

To Nathan thank you

Nathan I just wanted to thank you for your web site.I love reading what others have to say about those annoying comercials that drive us all crazy.If it was not for your brilliant idea we would probably be going crazy and wishing we could just shoot ourselfs so we did not have to endure another bad commercial.Please keep up the good work!!! Thank you again.
NightFillysStar

Parents: The Anti-Drug

This commercial has been played TO DEATH.  I've heard that some people can recite every line, verbatem.  I'm am so tired of seeing it.  Granted, drug use is a serious problem.  But the commercial encourages parents to make accusations without foundation.  The only thing this commercial has done for me is to remind me of how crummy my childhood was.  I have never been remotely interested in drugs, and so are many other people, and I hate being falsely accused.  That aside, the commercial is so overexposed, it's overkill. 

- Metevault

Commercials I hate

Dear Nathan of Commercials Hate,

I tried, but I just couldn't resist emailing you to inform you of my great enjoyment of your website! It is, in a word, brilliant. I applaud you in your investigation of the Gatorade Mystery Flavors. Possitively hillarious!

I have 1 question though. You said in the letters archive that the shown email was the first obsessive fan letter. Do you get more? That one was really creepy, although funny. Very obsessed.

Well, being I am pretty sure you plenty of emails like this, I just had to put in my 2 cents. Keep doing this! Don't listen to Dreamweavercatcher. He knows nothing. Nothing, I tell you.

Oh, I almost forgot. I totally loved the Taco Bell Dog. I know the whole "Gordita" anthem song thing by heart (very pathetic, but I thought it was adorable...). I am sorry you don't like his cute lil commercials. Oh well, we all can't be fans of small, almost naked, talking dogs.

A Fan, Kristina

The Ebonics Twins

Subject: *EVERYTHING*
10:49:40 03/31/03 Mon (168.184.90.10)
From: "Trice and Cape"
(BlackPrincess59@hotmail.com)
(Cape1986@hotmail.com)
To: nathan @ commercialsihate.com

first of all, the zoom zoom thing was funny as hell. Da thing wit da candy bar was jus a lil DISTURBING u havent gotten any pussy lately have you ? You certainly have absolutely no life if u sit at home and crack on other commercials...it kinda looks like the ONLY WAY you would have sex was if u WERE to give her two diamonds. LOL There are also alot of places where ppl cant write checks...AND ONLY STUPID WHITE PPL WOULD GO SOMEWHERE WITHOUT THEIR ID'S SORRY TO SAY BUT THE TRUTH HURTS... the guy in the tattoo commercial was not ugly. The cingular wireless explanation was GAY if ure gonna crack..crack to where ppl will understand...it might help..and people like OLIVE GARDEN!
well nice talkin to ure sick ass LOL we'll holla or should i put it in white term...WE'll HOLLER at u later
your lovely email senders
cape and tricey
HOLLA=HOLLER (white people)

A little gratitude

Dude, I am a professional voice-over 'artist' (why can't they come up with
a better name for that?) and I have to say that I enjoy this website
tremendously, as well as your sense of humor. Thanks for letting me vent
on your forum from time to time, I really appreciate it. I'll stop there
lest I be labeled an "asskisser".

Have a great day & good luck with your career in creative services.

ann

I bet she lost

Subject: question.
From: Jen
Date:Tue, 11 Mar 2003 22:10:15 -0600

Have you ever heard of a commercial for a Chicago insurance agency where a giant chicken lays an egg on the top of a car and the girls get out of the car and say, "Look at those low rates"?  If you have could you send me the name of the company...I'm trying to win a bet!
 
Thanks
Jen

Your Website

Nathan,

Stumbled across your website - I had to leave - my sides hurt from
laughing (my wife thought I was having some kind of attack). Thanks for
brightening my day.

Brian M. Coleman

Tall dark haired DELL boy intern

From: Kristin
Date: Sun Feb 23, 2003 2:52:43 PM US/Pacific
Subject: Tall dark haired DELL boy intern

Well,
I've been watching those DELL commercials, and I must say, that Tall dark haired intern boy is so adorable. I was just curious if anyone knew who he was??? Cmon, id rather watch the commercials with a hot intern, than the DELL commercials with that ugly goofy lookin kid. Sooo..if anyone knows who that cute boy is..lemme know :)
Kristin

Dentyne Ice "subway" commercial

Hi Nathan. My name is Tamara, and I'm curious as to
whether you've seen the newest dentyne ice commercial.
A woman blows her number on the subway window for a
man to read, but he happens to be the only guy without
a pen.

I ask you because I'm a journalist doing a feature on
hairstyles/fashion for spring. A lot of people have
asked me about the woman's haircut, and I can't find a
picture anywhere. Do you have access to a pic, and if
so, would you mind sending it to me? I'd appreciate
anything you could do.
Thanks for your time.

Sincerely,
Tamara Moin

Commercials I Hate

What do you think about the ZOLOFT commerical where the little ball is depressed, hides under rocks, won't play wth his ladybug friend, and cries all day? After he takes his ZOLFT he is flying and playing with the little bug! And then they have this little weird music muics playing in the background. IT IS SO CUTE!

- LACHAP1

Miller Lite

Ok...Here it comes, I hate the Miller Lite commercial where the 2 broads are fighting,, ripping off clothes and mudwrestling. I'm sick of women on tv shoving their tits in my face, I'm female, straight and not a bad little dancer. I can't turn on the tv without tits and ass in my face, let's turn the tables, let's see some MEN on the tube. Would guys want their ladies to sit there and smile? I watched CSI Miami for weeks it was an awesome program, then 2 weeks ago it was all about which of the 3 women could show the most clevage, it's an investigation show for heaven sakes, they go and collect evidence with a V neck on down to their knees. If I see one more boob implant blonde on the tube I'm going to put a curtain over it and just listen. HEY isn't that "RADIO"?

Catherine Hoffman

your site

Nathan,
How can I thank you for your dedication to keeping a website that speaks the truth and, more importantly, would make me laugh so damn hard? (that was rhetorical) I stumbled across your gem of a site during one of my frequent bouts of insomnia, but even when I was ready to try and get back to sleep, I couldn't pull myself away from the hilarity of your rantings and ravings. I myself am somewhat of a rant-er (or rave-er, but not the dancing type) and tend to lean toward the advertising world for the object of my rage... because lets face it, who can match the awesome stupidity of the advertising world? (also rhetorical) So, all this to say thank you, and I wish you well in your dreams in TV/Film... I'm heading that way myself. Oh yeah, thank you SO much for telling that dream-weaver-catcher faggot that he's a dumb ass... I hate air force "punks".
-jon-

hahah - love your site, Nathan

Hi Nathan,

I found your site by a search for listings on "Carlina
Employee of the Month". I happen to love that
commercial in a love to hate it sort of way. I wrote
about it on my web site, as well.

Anyway, your site made me really laugh and I had to
let you know. It's one of the best I've ever stumbled
on.
Thanks for the entertainment.

Sincerely,
Marion (nippies.com)